The Shannon Twins might be bigger fans of Playboy than us, and they might have just scored themselves a bedroom in the mansion. See, not too long ago, it was starting to look like Hugh Hefner’s Playboy days were going down the tubes. First came the reports of Playboy’s speculated bankruptcy – which, after all the bullsh*t that’s been going down in the financial markets these days, seems like an F’ing picnic. Then we find out that all three of his Girls Next Door girlfriends are f**king other dudes – Criss Angle and Joe Francis, of all people. Talk about a kick to the proverbial nuts – replaced by a douchebag magician and a dude who’s like the low-rent, Jersey Shore version of yourself!

But then we came across BuzzFeed today, and realized that his fortunes haven’t all gone to sh*t: Meet the 19-year-old Kristina and Karissa Shannon otherwise known as Shannon Twins and Hugh Hefner’s new slumber party favorites. Both models from Hollywood, CA, these teenagers fill all the criteria that Hef has for a woman – young and blond. Which, if you’re going to only have two criteria, is a pretty good way to go. You know, we were just starting to feel sorry for the old brute. But in light of this new information – f**k that!

Check out the Shannon Twins gallery after the jump! (more…)

Is God just f**king with us today or something? First the economy takes the express elevator down the sh*tter and now we hear that Playboy may be heading down the tubes. Apparently Hef has been given two options by the Playboy top brass: Let some bunnies go or let them all go.

In the midst of a financial crisis, Hugh has been ordered to fire a handful of employees or face bankruptcy. A spokesperson for Mr. Hefner wouldn’t confirm or deny the financial situation citing “It is our policy not to comment on corporate matters such as employee issues.”

With rumors of Hef’s Girls Next Door girlfriends leaving their 82-year-old boytoy to pursue other things, it raises the question: Is this the end of Playboy? With the way things are going these days, I wouldn’t doubt it. But this is just a bit too much to handle.

Men and Women tend to disagree on several things. Seat up verse seat down. SportsCenter verse Chelsea Lately. “Stop and ask for directions” verse “keep driving, we will get there when we get there.”

Some things never change but I have compiled a list of television shows that your girl probably watches that you might actually enjoy. “But what makes you an expert in television shows?” you might ask. Well, I did my research. I asked around town and interviewed women on their likes and dislikes. And then I sat down on my couch and watched the shows myself. And here’s what my research has yielded. (more…)

You’re going to want to sit down for this one: Hugh Hefner has decided to stop throwing his epic Playboy Mansion parties, in an attempt to cut costs. After his recent “Midsummer Night’’s Dream” gala, Hefner announced that his upcoming Halloween bash will be the last.

So, instead of drinking ourselves into a suicidal stupor because of this sad news, we’ve decided to celebrate the bootylicious bashes The Mansion has give us the world by compiling galleries of all the infamous, skin-tastic parties of the past. So grab a cocktail, sit back, and take a journey through all the best parties you were never cool enough to attend in the first place.

Check out the Playboy Mansion party pictures after the jump! (more…)

Hef has been pimpin’ all over the world since 1955.

Find out why I love his girls so much after the jump!

(I’ll give you a hint: it has to do with bikinis, pillows and fighting.) (more…)