Undergrad Americana- a lukewarm beer, a house full of college kids, wearing your favorite t-shirt, and bleach blondes dumping their rum-filled solo cups on your favorite t-shirt. What’s the matter Don Juan, “I lost my number, can I have yours” not cutting it anymore? Never fear, COED’s got some tips to avoid the self-cockblocking mine fields that are drunken house parties. Read more after the jump!

To get laid, the most you need is scented candles, massage oil and Barry White’s greatest hits. But anything more than that requires a bit more work. Say you’ve gone out on a couple of dates. She’s beautiful, chill and gets your jokes. You’re relaxed, funny, and genuinely enjoying yourself. You both know it’s going to the next step of something more serious. What do you do now? Below is a complete list of all you need to know to keep her around–and off your back!

Featherbeds, futons, laundry bags, white boards – you don’t need any of them.
They don’t matter; they’re inconsequential in you enjoying time away from your ‘rents house and avoiding embarrassing, CollegeHumor-worthy moments. A spiffy laundry bag from your mom isn’t going to help you through college, let alone… Click to read more