If this guy didn’t sound like an evil German doctor, I would swear that I’m listening to an old Jerry Seinfeld bit. He goes off on the fact that the Daddy Long Legs spider is the most absurd insect in the whole field of entomology. “Do you even have a thorax or maybe an abdomen?” “It is like a Q-Tip head.” This guy could do a bit on just about anything and it would be funny because of his creepy accent. “What is this with Daddy Long Legs?” is the new hotness. Check out the video you’ll be replaying for the next hour after the jump.

The leaves are slowly beginning to change, and so are the seasonal beers, switching from wheat and fruit inspired brews into darker, warmer flavors. Whether it’s a pumpkin ale, Oktoberfest, or brown ale, there’s more than enough exciting choices to browse on your next visit to the liquor store. The end of summer might be a bummer, but any of these brews are sure to help you forget about bikinis and beaches.

It’s that time of year again! Following the release of a number of brilliant spring beers, a wonderful array of summer seasonals are next up to satisfy everyone’s anxious palates. Featuring new releases from Southern Tier, Sierra Nevada, Lagunitas, and Bell’s, you’re going to be busy sampling and searching for a favorite. From California to New York, all of the top breweries have something fascinating and exciting to try.

Everybody knows that drinking and driving is bad. But what other substances don’t mix well with operating a 3000-pound vehicle at 60 MPH? Rather than making you try them all out yourself, this German dude has put together this little video to illustrate the 10 drugs not to take before driving.

Today’s an exciting day, people. No, the economic crisis isn’t over, and the new iPhone doesn’t even come out until next week. It’s exciting because Victoria’s Secret has a new model! Meet bangin’ brunette super-hottie Nicola Mar, originally from the Carribean island of St. Maarten. We don’t yet know a ton about lovely lady, but something tells us we will…

This German Eurovision host thought it would be a good idea to talk about his co-hosts ‘points’ and then give them a grab. But I bet he didn’t think he would be getting the sh*t slapped out of him on live TV, in front of all of Europe. Awkwaaaarrrrrrrdd…

So I just got an iPhone yesterday and it’s already been an enormous time-waster/pain in the ass. I think I got the pain in the ass part figured out, but that will only add to the time-wasting…Anyway, I avoided being up-sold at the AT&T store and walked out case-free. But that doesn’t mean I don’t need to protect the dang thing. For… Click to read more

We don’t know what he saying, since this old school pimp is speaking German. But we’re guessing it’s something along the lines of “And this is where I used to lay the beat-down on super douchebags with bad mullets and giant mustaches,” because that’s exactly what happens next…… Click to read more

South Park, our guiding light, recently revealed that yes, girls don’t have balls.
Why the writer’s strike may screw us all – and how to help.
Amy Winehouse brings her F-game to a less-than-amused crowd on first date of her tour.
Well, whaddya know: teenagers who have sex are less prone to violence. They don’t call it being “s… Click to read more

The crotch wars have officially begun…
First, College Candy reported that German perfume company Vulva Original (website NSFW) had concocted the real scent of a woman – a vagina-scented spray for fetishists.
Now the fellas have hit back hard with Tom Ford’s latest fragrance.
Tom Ford’s chemists have struck gold with Black Orch… Click to read more