Someone who’s not even on the team. That’s right, the best part of their season is this old guy freestyling in their parking lot. Poor player performance, mind boggling play calling, stupid penalties and crushing losses have continuously made Eagles Nation scratch their heads. This guy just doesn’t seem to care. He’s apparently a retired corrections officer who gained his rapping skills in the 80′s while rapping to the inmates. All these years later and the guy can still drop a sick freestyle. Stallworth jersey guy in the background, get a new jersey and stop trying to steal the guys’ spotlight. Check out the fraiche beats after the jump!

Wait. What? There are fat people driving the Prius? I thought those cars were only reserved for the health conscious. Anyways, people like this are the absolute worst. Yes, we know you drive a Prius and that you are trying to save the planet, blah blah blah… Lady, you’re ruining it for every decent person that’s just doing their part silently. I honestly think she was just upset that she realized that she was being filmed without having done her makeup. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it’s difficult for her to get in and out of her little car. Check out Little Miss Piggy freaking out after the jump (which coincidentally is something she’s not able to do).

What’s the future of television? It’s 5,000 channels of puppies, kittens, babies, toddlers, and other animals arguing with each other. You’ve probably seen the clip of the 2 babies arguing, now we have footage of 2 huskies exchanging words via subtitles starring Mishka The Talking Husky. My guess is Mishka is the one on that piece of furniture and the one harassing her is the dude who wants to bone her. Hey man, I feel ya. I’ll drop an “I love you” to tap that tooshy. Check it out after the jump.

Are you a young adult feeling fat and flabby, and just want to get fit? Well look no further C.J. Senter is a 10-year-old workout trainer who’s ready to help. Uhhh what? Yeah, the kid hasn’t even hit puberty yet but, you should totally take his workout advice. With moves like “The Chase”, “The Powerjack”, and “The Shredder” you are guaranteed to get diesel as s**t and/or laugh your ass off because a 10-year-old is giving you workout advice. His overweight friend really takes the cake… check out the video after the jump.

I f***ing hate cats. I’m a dog guy. But, that doesn’t mean that I love all dogs. I’m not a huge fan of really small dogs. I’m worried I’ll step on ‘em and kill ‘em. So, why do dogs rule and cats drool? Because they’re extremely helpful and functional. Ever see a seeing eye cat? Exactly. We’re not blind but we do like to get blind stinkin’ drunk, so a dog that can retrieve beers would be so ace. Check out the video of man’s bestest drinkin’ buddy after the jump.

Hard Ticket To Hawaii is a 1987 action adventure film directed by Andy Sidaris, helmer of such gems as Savage Beach, Guns, and L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach. Hard Ticket has everything you need to become a classic: ridiculous quotes, guns, girls, and ridiculous action sequences. Barstool Sports said it had the best frisbee scene in movie history. Now, we draw your attention to this death scene and ask: is it the greatest ever? Check it out after you read through the dynamite dialogue after the jump.

JT’s a peculiar bird. Dude has a billion chicks all over his jock because he makes them wet when he sings yet he has this burning desire to be a goofy comedian. So far, not so bad. He’s far better than any other musician trying to act, but it’s kinda weird to see a crooner take balls to the balls repeatedly. Like I’ve been doing that sh*t my entire life yet I don’t have a line around the block to swallow me whole. Anyway, ‘lake’s presenting the Capital One Cup at the 2011 ESPYs, which is hosted by SNL’s Seth Myers and will air July 13th. Check out this promo for the Capital One Cup then gawk at the screengrabs of Justin’s post nutshot o-faces after the jump.

Either this girl is the dumbest human being alive (she does call the workout ball a basketball) or she’s auditioning to be a new cast member on Jackass (she does say it’s for “Johnny Boy” – Johnny Knoxville maybe?). Like if I’m this chick’s dad, which I very well might be, I’m not paying for your surgery, okay? And, if you lie to me and I see this video, you’ll end up like Caylee Anthony. I hear you can just straight up murder children now and get away with it. A victory for parents everywhere. PS – gotta give her props though, she takes it like a champ. I see a future in MMA. Check it out after the jump (get it?).

Fails: one of the best reasons to waste your entire day on COED. From stupid Parkourers… Parkourites (the plural of those who parkour?) to helium balloon fires, here’s a wrap-up of the best of the worst jump, ride, run, and stunt FAILs from the month of June 2011. Check out the awesome video after the jump. Big ups to TwistedNederland7 for pulling this together.

As far as I’m concerned, the only thing worse than the song “Crank That” by Soulja Boy is the fact that a bunch of my friends knew how to do that dance. That dance is Satan. I firmly believe that this Tappercise (excercise through Tap Dancing?) video would be better suited for the people who willingly do the Superman in a club. At least people would know what kind of loser they are. Crank that video after the jump!

I honestly can’t get enough of The Lonely Island. I still lose my sh*t every time “I’m On A Boat” plays. I’ve even landed ladies mimicking “J*zz In My Pants“. It’s a foregone conclusion that anything these dudes put out will be solid, so it’s no surprise the latest YouTube upload, “We’ll Kill U” will kill you dead from laughter. Somebody get Chet Haze on the phone, this is how you rap, guy. You must be loco to mess with The Lonely Island. Peep the vidsky after the jump.

Sometimes you find the answers to questions you really had no interest in knowing. Here’s a perfect example of why I have my parents knock on my door before they come in… I mean, not me personally because, you know, I’m not like that. Seriously. Trust me. Whatever man, don’t f*cking judge me like that. Just watch the video below.

When I first saw the title on this video, I was like, “this is gonna be good” then I end up watching it and I’m like how many f***ing times can you show this one clip? It’s seriously like those sh*tty E! network shows that’s either a list or True Hollywood Story where they’re short on footage or content, so they just replay the same f***ing 5 seconds of video or zoom in and out and on the same f***ing picture over and over until you vomit.  Anyway, what’s this shark’s deal? Definitely not a white shark… (*cough* racist *cough). Check it out after the jump (haha!).

One of the funnier segments from Funny Or Die is the Drunk History series where fairly educated historians get wasted and recount events from the past. It’s a must see. Today, I find what appears to be the third episode from Steve Rold’s web series called, “My Friend Evan” in which Steve’s friend Evan leaves a drunk voicemail about the history of beer. I gotta say, I’m no history buff, but it seems pretty accurate. Check it out after the jump.

It’s no secret we’re big fans of the Dirka Dirka here at COED. He’s not THAT much of a common household name in the U.S. Seriously, stop 10 people on the street and ask them who Dirk is and be prepared to get some ridiculous answers. Sure, NBA fans know him but he’s no Michael Jordan. Not true in Germany. He’s a God over there. He’s on billboards, cereal boxes, and buses. You name it, he’s on it. So, it’s safe to say the Dirkness is basketball’s equivalent of The Hoff. Or, if you’re like the German dude in this video, he’s “The German Moses”. Whatever you call him, the guy’s on fire right now leading historic come-from-behind victories in the past 2 weeks. Check out the vid after the jump!