The Daily Shocker: Sober Companions

Barbiturate Bodyguard: Owen Wilson opts for a “sober companion” to help him avoid using any drugs - for $750 a day. (Dlisted)

Meg Lost Her Legs: The White Stripes have cancelled their Austin City Limits performance due to Meg White having “acute anxiety.” Not cute. (Stereogum)

You Got Served: Waiter in Fort Lauderdale saves woman from carjacker; gets fired an hour later. Damn…even Subway treats heroes with more dignity. (Sun Sentinel)

Cookie Crooks: University of Granada researchers state - and I quote - “A chocolate cookie a day can add 20 pounds on an energetically-balanced child in four years.” Another way a child will gain 20 pounds in four years: natural growth. (Earth Times)

Nice Catch: Baseball Hall of Famer Wade Boggs flips out at officials and takes trophy away when snubbed the fishing title at the Mercury Redbone S.L.A.M. (Southernmost Light-Tackle Anglers Masters) in Key West, Florida. (Keynoter)