What’s better than a bunch of super-hot Brazilian chicks having a bikini contest? A bunch of hot Brazilian chicks fighting during a bikini contest! I don’t speak Portuguese, so I’m not sure what started the whole thing. But I’m guessing it was something along the lines of “You don’t have a fat ass!” “I don’t have a fat ass? You don’t have a fat ass, bitch!” Whap!

With the recession coming home to roost on Wall Street, New York’s about to get dangerous again. In fact, someone was just robbed in my apartment building last week - something that hasn’t happend in seven years of living in this neighborhood. So it’s probably a good time to learn to defend myself properly. But instead of learning an entire fighting style, I think I’m just going to learn this…

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Sometimes, somebody just messes with you when they shouldn’t. And that person has another thing coming. In this case, that other thing is getting knocked out faster than Kimbo Slice.

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Some days, it’s just better to stay in bed. Especially when that day includes getting knocked out and then having your corner man clocked in the f**king face by the referee. Those are the kind of days it’s best to just stay home and drink.

At GQ’s Men Of The Year ceremony, a visibly drunk Allen threw it down against the equally catty troubadour. The result is a beautiful mess.

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My favorite sport can kick your favorite sport’s ass…literally. MMA has been exploding over the past couple of years—merchandise, reality shows, pay-per-views—and in my opinion it’s the best sport on Earth. Here are some reasons why:

10) Post-fight interviews with Joe Rogan

Interviewing an athlete after a major win or loss can be difficult at the best of times; just look at KG’s interviews after the Celtics won the NBA title this year. But interviewing a fighter after he got his ass kicked is damn near impossible. The UFC insists on doing interviews in the ring immediately following fights. They send Joe Rogan into the cage to ask fighters how they feel and to tell everyone how the fight went down. Replays are shown on the Jumbotron so fighters can give play by plays, but what usually happens is a jumbled mess. A lot of fighters don’t speak English well, or at all, and can barely hear/understand Rogan over the crowd. Other fighters simply watch the replay and make no comments, or say things like, “Yeah I kicked his ass!”, and others are so happy they just talk about being happy, not the fight. Needless to say, it’s hilarious watching Rogan try to make that mess into something viewers are actually interested in. Read more

Perhaps you’ve heard of Affliction clothing? Even if you haven’t, you’ve seen it. It’s everywhere on television. The shirts with all the flaming skulls and crazy designs on them with the word ‘affliction,’ somewhere. These shirts first started popping up on MMA fighters at UFC events, but have suddenly disappeared from the cage. This is because they were banned by UFC President Dana White and company as soon as Affliction announced they would be hosting their own MMA fight card, which is scheduled for July 19^th at the Honda Center in Anaheim, California.

This wouldn’t be that big of a deal, typically. As MMA has grown in the U.S., we’ve seen plenty of MMA organizations pop up; the IFL, Adrenaline, EliteXC. But Affliction is different in that for their first event, they have assembled what is probably the most ridiculous fight card of 2008. If you don’t recognize these names, its because the UFC doesn’t talk about them (they couldn’t manage to sign them), but the card boasts several UFC veterans as well.

Here’s our breakdown and predictions for some of the more important fights on the card. Read more

Another season of Spike TV’s the Ultimate Fighter has passed, and whether or not you like this show (7 seasons in and it has lost some luster), you must admit, these free ‘Finale’ cards on Spike are great. And they are especially great when the UFC’s acknowledges (finally) that we don’t want to see the rejects from the show beat out boring decisions. We want to the see winners, maybe one grudge match, and then some real fights with real implications. On June 21^st that is exactly what we got.

Here’s COED’s recap and thoughts on the card, working backwards from the headliner to the first televised fight. Read more

I think Kimbo is scary, but I don’t have nightmares about his fights. I do have those about Mike Tyson. His 80’s run through boxing, during which he systematically savaged everyone he faced while slowly slipping into madness, was frightening. This fear subsided when pictures of Tyson were released showing that, since retiring from fighting, he’s gotten, um, a little big.

I’m not saying I’d want him to punch me, because honestly I’m pretty terrified of losing my entire face. Unfortunately, since these photos came to light, my dreams of him chasing me and eating children in front of me, had really toned down.

Well, my days of feeling secure while in bed are over. According to Sherdog.com, people in Vegas have seen him training, and training really hard.

A source, who asked to remain anonymous, informed Sherdog.com that Tyson has been quietly “training his ass off” with a prominent strength and conditioning coach in the area. The source also stated that Tyson “is not going to do boxing anymore,” but when asked if “Iron Mike” was going to try MMA, the source shrugged, “I don’t know, I can’t say.”

Welcome back nightmares! Thanks a lot, ‘prominent strength and conditioning coach.’ Kimbo! Could you take care of this, please? (Before Tyson’s fit and off the meds…)

So CBS wanted to bring MMA to primetime tonight, and it was a mess.If you would like the short summary, take 4 of your favorite MMA fights and end them 3 minutes too early. Every star that the network and the Elite XC executives wanted to win - had the fights handed to them on a silver platter.

We learned that Kimbo Slice is not a professional fighter. He fought a decent heavyweight, James Thompson, and could not handle a simple take down. The stoppage was a f**king joke, CBS is a joke, Elite XC is joke.

You want to watch real MMA, watch UFC on Spike/PPV.

This unbelievable brawl went down in the Russian Superleague on January 8, 2008. A total of 378 penalty minutes were given out.