If the great state of Texas, the McDonald’s franchise and stretchy pants have taught us anything, it’s that bigger is better. Biggie Smalls, Fat Albert, John Candy— they all embraced the chub. Now society is battling the fun with a ban on trans-fats, advertised lap-band procedures and late-night Flirty Girl Fitness infomercials. While the FDA is doing the… Click to read more

After a nice long weekend of boozing and eating the fattiest foods in the world, you sink into a deep state of depression when you look down and can’t find your weiner. You feel like you’ve got a baby on board and the Jersey Shore marathon where Sitch and Ronnie have their shirts off 24/7 isn’t helping things. Well, do what we do, stare at fatties way fatter than you. There are a select few hotties out there who love to rub a good beer belly. Those women exist only in movies. To help you cope, we’ve put together this gallery of epic beer bellies. Check it out after the vomit.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. They say most fat people are jolly. I’d agree with that statement for those chubbies who embrace their weight. For most others, though, packing on the pounds is worrisome. Some study somewhere shows that the number one killer (besides Ghostface – WU TANG FOREVER!) in America is obesity. Unless you’re a genetic freak or gym rat, getting fat is an eventual consequence of getting old. You get lazy, you lose motivation. But, if your goal is to avoid this fate and you’re looking for a partner who won’t embarrass you, check out our guide to determining if you’re gf will be gluttonous in our slideshow after the jump.

In no way, shape, or form should this guy be fathering any children, so I’m alright with him taking a boxing glove on a javelin from a potato gun at point blank range to the nuts. His friends don’t even wait for him to get properly prepared. The only way this video could be better is if there wasn’t a boxing glove on the tip. Check out the video after the jump!

• Even The Lord Of The Thundercats Gains The “Freshman 15″

• Cute Dog Ruins Women’s Soccer Match

• Maxim Gets Their Hands On The Nintendo 3DS

• Charlies Sheen’s Bangin’ 7 Tracks To Have Sex To

• See The Trailer For The “First Horror Film In One Continuous Shot”

• 6 Brilliant Inventions That Look Like Gag Gifts

See More Awesome Links!

• 9 Of Brock’s Best Mummy-Beating, Henchmen-Killing Moments!

• The Best (And Only) Mighty Ducks Rap In Existence

• Founding Fathers Or Founding Tokers?

• Crazy Rich Guy Makes It Rain Money At Starbucks

• It Takes A Man To Be A Bad Father

• Danica Thrall Is Pretty Damn Sexy

See More Awesome Links After The Jump

• The fattiest meals in the USA

• 10 movies you won’t be seeing this summer

• 9 porn moves you should avoid

• Watch Snooki faceplant (video)

• How to get her interested in video games

• Inception: the Lego version

• The Sucker Punch movie trailer

Are you starting to suspect that your morbidly obese but can’t find anyone (besides an airline attendant) to confirm it? Well stop stressing and get answers! If you have man boobs or resemble any of these men, you’re probably what they call disgustingly fat. But we’re not grossed out by you because we know you didn’t just wake up one day swimming in Double Down wrappers. No, you get fat in 7 stages. And you know what, don’t even try to lose! Being a fat dude has tons of perks!

• 10 Reasons Being Fat is Awesome

• Hot girls and the great outdoors

• 50 Hottest Wags of the World Cup

• Heidi Montag embarrasses herself

• 12 most awesome cowboys ever

• World cup secret weapons

• The best contest ever

After seeing what it can do to a fat person who you make extremely angry on the Internet, I’m going to refrain from any negative comments about being over weight. But I will say that I once saw a woman at a Cracker Barrel who had to ask for a stool to hold up her gigantic stomach while she ate. Sorry, I just wanted to tell that story…

- The Fattest Sandwiches In America

- Sophie Monk Hits The Beach

- New Where the Wild Things Are Trailer

- PedoBear Photo Contest

- That’s A Hot Grandma

- Munchin’ Yankees

Bringing Down the Bounce House – Watch more free videos
You know, there’s a reason they don’t allow adults on the kids toys at the fair–because your fat ass is just going to mess up the fun for everyone else…… Click to read more

“She’s only sitting next to me because I already ate her sister…”
The Rules:
Think you got us beat? Submit your best caption in the comments section below, and the winner (based purely on our bias) will receive a $15 iTunes gift card! Let the captioning begin!
(Image source: PixFTW.com)… Click to read more

Between bra stuffing for girls and crotch stuffing for guys lies the worst tool for false marketing: girdles.
I understand the need to tuck your flab away, people – but when did, uh, eating less and exercising become such an arduous task, or at least one that’s put by the wayside for a girdle?
My point of all this nonsense is this. Scary, huh? Horrif… Click to read more

• Recent studies show that it’s the lack of exercise, not body fat, that’s unhealthy.
• Experts break down the health pros and cons of drinking.
• Disappearing man reappears five years later, claiming amnesia when arrested for fraud.
• A gasoline tanker explodes in Everett, Massachusetts, leaving cars and buildings ablaze.
• Burglars in East… Click to read more