I’m never going to profess to having a complete (or even partial) understanding of the female anatomy. But I know that there will be times when an orgasm is just not going to happen for a girl.

Sometimes we aren’t pushing your buttons right; other times, it wouldn’t matter what buttons we push or knobs we turn (metaphors girls…I sincerely hope that guys you’re with aren’t literally pushing buttons or turning knobs), it’s simply gonna be a lost cause.

And yet, apparently, girls still take the time to fake orgasms. Get out! And here this whole time I thought I was a sex Adonis, never failing to bring my girl to an earth-shattering orgasm. Who knew that at least some of those girls were giving Katie Holmes-esque performances!

Please. Although we may look it, and we sure as hell act like it, guys are not as naive about fake orgasms as some girls would like to believe. Yes, we know you fake orgasms. Obviously, we can’t really tell on an orgasm-to-orgasm basis, but with portrayals of fake orgasms becoming much more prevalent in every realm of pop culture, the majority of guys no longer live under the illusion that we haven’t been faked out at least a few times in our lives. (more…)

I don’t like to toot my own horn, but I am every man’s dream woman; it only takes two beers to get me drunk and, unlike most women, it doesn’t take much to get me going. A guy needs only to look in my direction if he wants to rile me up and finish me off. It’s amazing that I was single for so long. The problem with such perks comes with the reputation that spreads. I was once known as “Quickie McClimaxâ€? or “Anyone-Can-Get-Her-Off Girlâ€? amongst some of my peers and one-night bedmates. Now, I don’t really care what people think of me or say about me, but it becomes a problem when a reputation like this precedes me.

What happens when a guy can’t get me off? Well, I’ll tell you.

I am forced to fake it.

And I am sure you all have been there too. We all know men hate it when a woman resorts to faking it, but there is a lot that goes into that decision that they just don’t understand. If you ever find yourself tongue tied when trying to explain your reasoning for faking it, print out this bad boy and hand it to your man.

1) We don’t want you to feel inadequate: My friend thinks this is the worst excuse ever. He claims that he would rather a girl tell him what to do than fake it. (more…)