Dating in college is weird. There’s a part of you that thinks going out to a nice restaurant with that chick from your Finance class would be a fun, mature thing to do. There’s also the part of you that thinks having her back to your apartment to see if you can get her drunk enough to bang on the first date would be way cooler.

It’s these battling emotions that lead to some interesting dating experiences. The following are a few personal experiences of mine.

Showing Up Drunk Is a No-No

Last year I went out to dinner with some girl I met somewhere. I wasn’t supposed to meet her until nine, so around six I went over to my buddy’s apartment to hangout for a bit. There were a few people drinking beer, so I had one, then another, then six more…and then some vodka. Before I knew what was going on I was sitting across from some girl I barely new, inhaling Thai food and telling stories about hookers in Montreal. I’ve never seen a girl ask for the check so quickly after a meal. The date went so bad that I didn’t get a kiss, a hug, or even a handshake. I never saw that girl again in my life. (more…)

Hooters? Depressing? You don’t say. All I’ve ever had to do was take a look at the horrible orange and white paint job adorning the outside of most Hooters restaurants to know those places are a bevy of bad taste and depression.

Oh yeah, and fifteen year olds.

In my town, Hooters was the place adolescent boys with fake IDs and too much cologne spent their Friday nights when no one their own age would date them.

Hooters was the place high school’s biggest assholes went to feel superior to women who would never look at them in real life, as well as the place a friend’s friend once tried to work at but quit after some perv threw a popcorn shrimp at her boobs.

In conclusion: Hooters is drenched in grossness. (more…)

Every once in awhile I like going out to bars, clubs, you name it. Buuuuut, I am not yet 21 and I nowhere near look like I am. Because of my short stature, people frequently ask me if I am in high school (and one time even junior high).

I know, I know: in 20 years, I’ll be begging for people to think I’m in high school. But for right now, I just wanna pass as 21 so I can go out with my friends. Which is nearly impossible. I still get funny looks from waiters when I order off the adult menu.

So, I got a fake ID. I was lucky enough to inherit an actual old ID of a friend’s after she turned 21. While my friend and I look alike, she is 25 and 5′9. And yet, her ID has worked flawlessly time and time again, even when I don’t wear my seven-inch heels.

How does it work, you ask? I follow a few basic steps: (more…)