When it comes to social commentary, South Park takes the proverbial cake, constantly cutting through the bullsh*t to get to the nut of the matter with hilarious vulgarity and awesome story-lines. But anyone who watched last Wednesday’s South Park election episode, “About Last Night” was crapping their pants in amazement at the timeliness of the show, which included the results of Tuesday’s election, lines from both John McCain and Barack Obama’s speeches from less than 24-hours before and the explosive celebration of Obamaniacs after his big win that perfectly matched their real-life drunken euphoria.

Immediately, we started asking, how the hell did they do it? Did they make two episodes, one for an Obama victory, one for McCain? Did they have some inside info only available to elite cartoonists? Did they just bank on the polls being right and go for broke? Fortunately, IGN TV was able to get co-creator Matt Stone on the line for an answer.  (more…)

Local British hotties don’t get the respect and awe that they deserve. We all know about the Keeleys, Lucys and the pre-crack Amy Winehouses – but what about the local talent that can be found on London’s famed High Street? So much stock is put into America’s “Girl Next Door” mystique, but for those of us who have not traveled abroad, we have FHM to thank for schooling us about the best side of British culture.

Once a year, FHM pulls together 100 of the hottest honeys High Street has to offer. It is your civic duty to check out each one of these lovely lasses and place your vote.  Your country depends on it. God Save The Queen.

(Click Thumbnail To View Full Pic)

I don’t get it.

Having proven that the State of Florida cannot handle relatively simple tasks, as was the case in the last Presidential Election, Florida’s Broward and Miami-Dade counties have announced that they will buck the state’s recommendations for handling voters flagged by the controversial Florida Voter Verification Law. I am not exactly sure who they think this will benefit, but it is ultimately bad for America.

When the election of the President of the United State becomes a political game and a pawn for either party, we have taken a serious step backwards in the upholding of our most cherished freedom. Whether you choose to “Vote or Die” or whatever dumb-sh*t anthem Hollywood will be chanting next week, the problem is real.

How can one state’s political system decide to jeapardize the voice of the whole country? Not that it will, but given the electoral college’s power, a screw-up in Florida could mean the difference between who controls one of the most influential countries in the world. These are the same people who screwed up the “butterfly ballot” and most of which have no idea how to work their TiVos. My grandmother lives in Florida and calls me every week when House is on so that she can record it and watch it the next day – so she can fast-forward through the commercials.

Oh yeah – these people are going to screw it up again…just watch!

With a name like Luisana Lopilato, you have to be famous. And this 21-year-old Argentinian actress and model has been blowing up in South America since the age of 12 with her roles in Chiquititas and Rebelde Way. And to go along with growing her celebrity, Luisana just got hotter and hotter, landing on the cover of Maxim and tons of other publications. When you’re this freakin’ gorgeous, you can pretty much do anything you want.

Saturday, October 11th

U.S. Tax System Explained In Beer

It is very easy to get confused when someone explains the US Tax system, but my buddy sent this e-mail chain message that breaks it down by relating the system to something we all understand very well – splitting the beer tab…Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this…

Twelve Years ago, Joe Torre became the manager of the New York Yankees and guided them to the pinnacle of the baseball world in only his first season at the helm.  When Charlie Hayes made the final out in Game 6 of the 1996 World Series, the Yankees won the world championship for the first time in 18 years. This season he left the throne of New York to seek out another opportunity to prove his managerial superiority of this game.

Friday, October 10th

Ridiculously Rad Rollergirls

Saturday marks the 8th annual Texas Cavello Cup Roller Derby Championship and that means tons of super hot, tattooed, badass chicks brawling it out to become the queens of the rollergirl world. From the Cherry Bombs to the Rhinestone Cowgirls, these hardcore roller derby girls aren’t just hot, they could kick your ass with their eyes closed.

South Park Enjoys Raping Indiana Jones

Who needs SNL when rabid anal pummeling is readily available on Comedy Central? The geniuses behind South Park brilliantly spoofed Steven Spielberg and George Lucas raping Indiana Jones on Wednesday night and (surprise, surprise!) the execs at Paramount aren’t happy.

The episode, Olympic Nightmare, shamelessly draws from those please-god-make-it-stop scenes in The Accused and Deliverance. Anytime one of the SP boys screams “rape!” you know the show is about to go from funny to masterful.

Thursday, October 9th

How to Create the Ultimate Bachelor Pad

How do you create the ultimate bachelor pad so a lady – or possibly many ladies – will come through and not be turned off by the fact that you live in your own sh*t.

The most important things to keep in mind when designing your bachelor pad are: YOU must be comfortable there. A WOMAN should not be uncomfortable there. It should reveal your PERSONALITY. It should be a FUNCTIONAL place to live. It should look like a MAN lives there.

Boring News Day Playlist

Some days, there just isn’t that much interesting happening in the world. But instead of leaving you to click aimlessly through pages of boring news, we thought we’d brighten things up with a couple of tunes to go alone with it. So forget about the election for a while, sit back, relax and get ready to rock out!

Wednesday, October 8th

The 52 Best Natural Breasts of All-Time

If you haven’t noticed, we here at COED love women. We couldn’t live without them – neither could you. Another thing you might not have noticed is that October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Since we much prefer the lovely ladies of the world happy, healthy and whole, we thought we’d help out.

Karissa and Kristina Shannon: Meet Hef’s New Twins

Meet the 19-year-old Kristina and Karissa Shannon otherwise known as Shannon Twins and Hugh Hefner’s new slumber party favorites. Both models from Hollywood, CA, these teenagers fill all the criteria that Hef has for a woman – young and blond. Which, if you’re going to only have two criteria, is a pretty good way to go. You know, we were just starting to feel sorry for the old brute. But in light of this new information – f**k that!

18 Facts Regarding Alcohol Use In College

College students drink – it’s a known fact. But the statistics regarding the level of intoxication in the future leaders of America seem to slip just beneath the radar. How much are you drinking? How much is everyone else drinking? Find out here.

4 Questions for Entourage Season 5

Arguably the best show on television, Entourage, is in the middle of it’s fifth season. For those of you who watch the program, there are a lot of questions that still have to be answered before this season is up. And I’m stuck wondering how they are going to resolve some of the issues that are still out on the table. For those of you who don’t watch the show or who have it on DVR, I don’t think any of these questions are spoilers, but read with caution.

Tuesday, October 7th

Busty Bartender Beauties

Every time you first walk in the door of a bar you’ve never been to before, you check out a couple of things before deciding whether or not to say: First, does the clientele look like a bunch of douchebags? Second, is the bartender hot? If the answer to the second question is yes, even a room full of tools can make the evening worth it.

Even though you won’t get her number, since every dude in the place has already asked her for it, few things beat an evening of sloshing it up with your bros while a bodacious babe serves you drinks and calls you “Honey.” To honor these alcoholic angels of the night, we’ve scoured the Web to put together all the best busty bartenders we could find. So grab yourself a cold one, sit back and enjoy.

One Year Later…Girls Still Enjoy Flaunting Their Drunken Madness on Facebook

Why aren’t people still up in arms about girls flaunting their drunken madness on Facebook? The topic was hot as a pistol – covered by almost every news source just days after the controversial group “30 Reasons Girls Should Call It A Night” was created, but now, almost a year later, the drama has subsided. It’s time to rustle some feathers by unleashing our infamous and well commented COED post back into the wild for a whole new batch of COED users to enjoy.

How To Buy Porn

It was such an exciting time in my life. Turning eighteen, a monumental event for one reason – I could buy porn. Yes, I could also buy cigarettes and lotto tickets but those aren’t nearly as fun. What makes me think of this was something that happened yesterday. I was in Borders, over in the men’s magazine section, which happens to be right next to the porn section. No big deal. As I was browsing, these three teenagers come over to the porn and start acting like they have never seen a pair of t*ts in their lives. “Oh man, catch out these boobs.” What tools!

Monday, October 6th

Bikini Car Wash Girls

I hate to say it, gentlemen, but summer is over. The leaves are changing and a cold wind is blowing in – and that means all the bootylicious sidewalk eye-candy is about to go into hibernation for the winter, or at least turn into sweater kittens.  To properly pay homage to the warm months of 2008, we’ve turned to one of the best parts of summer – the bikini car wash. From the original, ground-breaking scene in the late Paul Newman’s classic Cool Hand Luke to the hot neighbor you saw washing her new car last week, sexy girls getting wet, soapy and almost naked will forever have a place in our hearts.

The Week In Re-Boob: Sept. 29th – Oct. 5th

Welp, it’s Monday, again, and you know what that means! Another Week In Re-Boob! We’ve got all the hottest galleries the interweb has to offer. So don’t worry if you missed any of last week’s skintastic sexiness, we’ve got you completely covered. You might want to take a deep breath before diving into this one.

Juice-Up Your Arnold Palmer

Golf legend Arnold Palmer’s drink of choice is a half iced tea/half lemonade concoction that bares his name. There’s nothing better than an ice cold Arnie to chill you out on a hot afternoon. One thing I never thought about doing was adding alcohol to the drink – it would make the perfect triple threat.

Gays Rejoice with Petruzelli’s Win

So the meanest homeless man in the world was destroyed by the most outspoken self-described “goofy homo” I have ever seen. There are some pretty disturbing pictures out there that put this new MMA hero into a new light. All of a sudden, Chapelle’s sissy fights does not seem too far away.  Yet, in other circles, CBS is reeling from their long-term relationship with Elite XC which is almost completely based on the saleability and marketability of Kimbo Slice. What is ironic, is the backlash taking place in the network and in Elite XC itself. It appears that Kimbo did not want to fight Seth, and actually insisted on a cash bonus of $10,000 to take the fight.

Sunday, October 5th

The One Buckeye Who Hates Pryor

If there’s one Ohio State student out there that hates Terrelle Pryor, it’s definitely Todd Boeckman.  Boeckman was the starting quarterback that led the Buckeyes back to the BCS National Championship Game last season and planned on returning to Columbus with his sights set on a return trip to the title game and more importantly, a first round selection in the upcoming NFL Draft.

It is great to know that the economy’s complete and total collapse hasn’t taken its toll on AIG executive’s ability to kick back and get some well-deserves R&R. Really, nothing says, “Hey, we just helped destroy the American way of life for at least 2 generations of citizens,” like spending $440,000 on a short getaway in Cali. Great job a$$holes! And now the dumb-sh!t senators that gave them the money, are all surprised?!

Uh…I’m not. And every other marginally educated person in this country knew damn well this was going to happen. Somehow Congress thought different??? Are you jackasses beginning to believe your own bullsh!t? These are the people, AIG in particular, who turned corporate waste into an art form. Not since David Blaine’s Dive of Death, have I seen such a blatant abuse of money and the public’s confidence (which we are just about all out of).

The AIG execs got manicures, facials and even spent $25,000 on 1 meal. For $25K, the meal better have ended with a facial! Either way, this is going to be a recurring theme over the next couple of years. The Fed has turned the American dollar into an international joke and it is a contest to see which will be used as toilet paper first: the Euro, the Dollar or this bullsh!t bailout/rescue/WTF plan…my money is on all of the above.

The Young Guns of NCAA Football

Who says experience is everything?

Maybe more than ever before, coaches are turning to the best player available rather than the oldest guy on the depth chart. This season, there are a number of young guns who are proving experience may not be the best factor when deciding who takes the snaps on Saturday afternoons.

Even at storied programs, the next in line is rarely the next in line. Over a dozen underclassmen are answering the call of duty this season and are amongst the nation’s best at the quarterback position. [Love of Sports]

Why I Miss College: Because of FSU and Zeta Tau Alpha’s Sorority

You see this folks? This is what it’s like when you get to go to a school like Florida State University. This is what it’s like to be that guy. That guy in this picture who was smart enough to realize that this was his one chance to party on a consistent basis with hot blond sorority girls. Sure he looks like a toolbox but this guy is my kind of guy, and the ladies at Zeta Tau Alpha know what’s up. [Uncoached]

5 Reasons Why College Students Need to Vote

So why don’t politicians pay more attention to the issues that you care about, like the price of tuition, financial aid, and the availability of entry level jobs? Because traditionally, college students have had relatively low voter turnout. Instead, the candidates pay lots of attention to issues of importance to the elderly, like Social Security, because the elderly vote! [edu In Review]

College students: get off your duffs and vote! In case you need a good reason to do so, here are five:

Does This Cowgirl Support McCain or Obama? – Click to Find Out

Leighton Meester Is A Fox

Weed Less Harmful than Drinking

Miley Cyrus Got Baked on 16th B-Day

Another Reason to Hate Corporations

1st Funny Thing Bill Maher Has Made

Seven Habits of Ineffective Terrorists

Obama Has His Own iPhone Application

Win Your September Madness Pool

MTV Rick Rolls Everybody

Best Craigslist Ad Ever

Sarah Palin Can Play Flute Too!

Hunting Sets Its Sights on Women

List of Rich Dead Guys

We are nearing the point where a Josh Howard for Ron Artest swap would have been a character upgrade for the Mavs.

In a recent YouTube video, Josh Howard was filmed at Allen Iverson’s charity flag football game in July ‘voicing out his true colors’ during the American National Anthem.

When the camera panned to the direction of the recently extremely-troubled Maverick small forward, he states, ” ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ is going on. I don’t celebrate this [expletive]. I’m black.”  He then goes on to make a comment about Barack Obama.

This was first reported by Eddie Sefko of the Dallas Morning News, and has allegedly been ‘handled’ already by Dallas owner Mark Cuban by means of “communication-skill sessions” during camp in upcoming weeks.

Add this to his admission to marijuana use and his arrest for speeding and reckless driving in North Carolina, and now the Mavs are biting their hands when they realize that they probably could have landed defensive menace Artest from the Kings in exchange for Howard.

Who would have ever thought that Artest would ever be the better character guy in a one-for-one swap in any NBA trade?  The Mavs certainly didn’t think so at the beginning of the summer, but now they might be starting to change their mind.

(Image: D210.tv)

Once thought a longshot, Republican Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin is now on a plane to potentially stand at McCain’s side. We have received some great insights from interns that we know who work at some real publications.

If Obama had tapped (politically speaking) Hillary Clinton, Mitt Romney would be the VP bid to try and match her fund-raising firepower. Since Joe Biden is in, the Republicans can now pick a female VP and look (and this is a direct quote), “progressive in the ever-changing political landscape where all citizens have equal representation and a global voice.” Gosh, I wish I could write pretty like that. (more…)

If so, I can’t find it.

So Obama is done giving his speech, and I am flipping between MSNBC with Chris Matthews/Keith Oberman and FOX.

If Matthews and Oberman were any more up Obama’s ass – they would have been covered in sh*t. FOX on the otherhand, might has well have been burning pictures of Obama and were tearing apart every vocal inflection he made.

What ever happened to impartial news reporting? I remember growing up and feeling that I could believe anything the news people reported, because there was this integrity of impartial news reporting. Those days are gone.

If you were to flip, as I am right now, you would think the reporters watched 2 completely different speeches. You can’t argue the fact that Obama is a great public speaker, but why not simply highlight the points he made? No, of course not. Everyone needs to give their 2 cents as to what they took away from him.

But Keith Oberman? Really? Dude, you were on SportsCenter…please stop. Tell me what you think about Favre moving to the Jets, don’t interpret political language and positioning.

That was exhausting just to watch.