It’s not hard for a bad movie to open on top of the weekend box office chart — a combination of heavy marketing, recognizable stars, and a simple concept pretty much assures it.  Every month, for example, a new bad horror movies comes and goes.  Remember The Messengers, Darkness Falls or Urban Legends: Final Cut?  They were all the #1 movie in America at one point.

Romantic comedies work the same way: Forces of Nature, Monster-in-Law, and Failure to Launch all topped the box office in their day.  And then there’s the awful kids’ movies that lazy parents pay for: Scooby Doo…Pokemon…The Pacifier…and the list goes on.

The thing about all these movies is that they’re passively bad.  Everybody already knew they would suck, and they’re quickly forgotten.  Sometimes, however, a movie opens at #1 that is really bad.  Offensively bad.  Beg-for-your-money-back, sign-of-the-impending-apocalypse bad.  Here are the 10 Worst Movies to Open at #1.  (more…)

Too often in the entertainment industry, great talents are taken from this world before they have a chance for their careers to fully flourish. Unfortunately for others, the exact opposite happens – their careers got so big, they didn’t know when to quit. Not that they weren’t great in their day, but somewhere along the way, things took a turn for the worst. So instead of letting them continue to pollute the airwaves with over-confident garbage, we thought we’d give these 10 comedians a heads-up with The 10 Comedians Who Should’ve Bought the Farm Before Their Careers Did. (more…)

After the amazingness that was this year’s The Dark Night, movie nerds the world over are awaiting director Chris Nolan’s inevitable followup. Since the movie made a pile of money, was a critical darling and even generated posthumous Oscar buzz for Heath Ledger, you can bet your ass they’re making a third Batman. The only question is… when?

Nolan hasn’t even signed on to make part three yet, mostly because he’s a perfectionist and is busy making sure the plot will be air tight before anything official happens. Good for him. But what are all the overly-anxious fanboys supposed to do in the meantime? Apparently, just make a bunch of stuff up.

Rumors have been swirling around new Batman castings, from Johnny Depp and/or Eddie Murphy playing the Riddler to Shia LaBeouf playing Robin to Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the Penguin to Rachel Weisz as Catwoman. But since the movie isn’t even officially happening yet, can you guess how many of those lies rumors are true?

Since all it takes to circulate a Batman casting rumor is a hope and a dream and a website, we’d like to go ahead and officially announce the latest casting announcements for Batman 3 (which, by the way, has officially been titled Batman: Again).

Zac Effron as Robin
Oh, you didn’t hear? The third Batman is actually going to be a musical. Ten-year-old girls and their moms rejoice! Since America will be in a full fledged Great Depression once this movie sees the light of day, studio execs are looking to the last Great Depression for inspiration. Turns out that when people are down on their luck, nothing lifts their spirits like song and dance. Expect Effron’s casting to anger the Comic-Con crowd at first, but then expect them to get over it when they find out it will equal ten-year-old girls in the audience.

Megan Fox as Batgirl
Hey Hollywood, here’s some free advice: If you want people to see your movie, put Megan Fox in it. It doesn’t matter if she can’t sing or dance or act, just make her look under the hood of a car once every fifteen minutes and your film will make lots money.

Gary Busey as The Riddler
Busey doesn’t have to act like the Riddler, he LIVES the Riddler. Have you seen his guest spots on Entourage? The man is a walking enigma! He is a snake eating its own tail, except with legs and riddle telling abilities. Multiply that by spandex and then divide it by him having to remain sober for a few months — the movie might suffer, but the reality TV show will be Nielsen’s catnip.

Meryl Streep as Catwoman
Well someone has to generate Oscar buzz in a Batman movie, and unfortunately the Academy only recognizes traditional acting talent, and not the new, more real talent that someone like Megan Fox brings to a project. Plus, rumor has it there’s a Catwoman Riddler sex scene in the works, so that should be good times.

With times getting tougher and tougher by the day, it’s important to remember to laugh every once in a while. So while the first black president prepares to take office and get this show back on the road, we thought we’d take a look at COED’s 7 Funniest Black Men of All Time for some comic inspiration.

Check out The 7 Funniest Black Men of All Time after the break!

(more…)

In 2004, ESPN said that Derek Jeter was the “biggest playboy in all of sports.” The 33 year-old New York Yankee short stop has given us another reason to believe the hype as he’s begun shacking up with Friday Night Lights super-hottie and Emerging Hottie of 2008, Minka Kelly.

But Kelly is only another girl in the long list of babes that Jeter has dated. In fact, Jeter has hooked up with seven girls on this years Maxim “Hot 100″ list–and those are only the ones we know about.

So what happens to these uber-hotties after Jeter runs their bases? Find out here…or just salivate to their smokin’ pics.

Check out that all-star hottie lineup after the jump! (more…)

Robin Williams

Back in the ’70s and ’80s, when Robin Williams did a lot of stand-up (and coke), he was one of the best in the business. His fast-talking, freak-the-hell-out kind of comedy was one of the most scorching acts on the scene. But since cranking out a long line of family-friendly crapfests like Mrs. Doubtfire and Patch Adams, Williams has become more like a giant flaming grizzly bear on meth than a comedian. So please, Robin, for the love of all that’s good in this world, stop screaming at us. We’re not laughing.

Robin Williams in his prime

Robin Williams past his time

Martin Lawrence

After being hand-picked for Russell Simmons’ Def Comedy Jam, Martin Lawrence quickly became one of the top comedians of the 90’s. His series, Martin had a good run from ‘92 to ‘97, featuring gut-busting characters, like Mama Payne and Sheneneh Jenkins. And his string of box office blockbusters are certainly impressive. But from 2000 on, Lawrence began spewing serious piles of crap like Black Knight and National Security. And no, Big Momma’s House doesn’t count – anyone can thrown on a fat suit and squeeze out a couple of laughs.

Martin Lawrence in his prime

Martin Lawrence past his time

Mike Myers

Mike Myers is arguably one of the funniest men of all-time. Most everything he did while on SNL is some form of comic genius, and Wayne’s World will forever have a special place in our hearts (right next to beer and side-boobs). And his Austin Powers franchise was surprisingly funny from start to finish. In fact, we don’t have many complaints. That is, until the vile, soul-sucking waste of time that is The Love Guru came to be. Seriously, this one is unforgivable. Sorry, Mike, you f**ked up.

Mike Myers in his prime

Mike Myers past his time

Andrew Dice Clay

One of the most offensively hilarious comedians of all-time, Andrew Dice Clay’s searing comedic genius was as good as it got for a couple of years. But instead of changing up his jokes as times changed, Dice just kept telling the same old schtick while getting fatter and balder by the minute. Then came his reality show Dice: Undisputed, which was supposed to be his relaunching pad, but instead revealed him to be the washed-up asshole he is.

Andrew Dice Clay in his prime

Andrew Dice Clay past his time

George Carlin

Ok, ok, settle down. We know pretty much everyone ever has a hard-on for the late George Carlin. But that doesn’t change the fact that after “Seven Dirty Words,” all Carlin did was a bunch of bit rolls and a lot of righteous complaining. We know, he did 14 stand-up specials and is considered one of the greatest comedians of all-time, but that’s mostly because anytime someone mentions that he might be anything less than Einstein and Richard Pryor rolled into one, his fans start screaming like little girls. In fact, we can already hear them now…

George Carlin in his prime

George Carlin past his time

Check out these COED posts

Who needs red-carpet bragathons like the Golden Globes and Oscars when the Razzies are around?

The 2008 Razzie nominations for the worst films and performances of the year have been announced, and it seems that playing multiple roles in terrible movies doubles your chances of bringing home the not-so-prestigious award. (more…)

Star Wars + Coming to America = A HA!