The 6 Most Ridiculous Celebrity Sex Tapes

One of the most talked about news items the past few weeks has been the Carrie Prejean sex tapes which even earned her an interview on Larry King Live where she managed to make herself look like a bigger idiot than before.
The sex tape craze has been big among D-List celebrities in the past few years and if you were thinking “who cares?” about the Prejean sex tape, here are some that you may have missed… hopefully.

Tom Sizemore
Most people know Tom Sizemore as that guy from that movie but few know that Sizemore (all 300 pounds of him) released a sex tape a few years ago in order to pay his legal and rehab bills prompting all eight people who bought it to go “Ewww.”

Sizemore’s tape did teach us a valuable lesson, though. It doesn’t matter how fat or disgusting you are, if you have money there are countless women who will sleep with you.

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Verne Troyer (a.k.a. Mini Me)
Yes, the little guy from Austin Powers made his own sex tape to rival the grossness of the Sizemore tape.

Troyer says that he did not release the tape and it was magically stolen by the guy who released Paris Hilton’s sex tape…because people always rummage through little people’s homes to see if there’s any vids of them banging.

Troyer also taught us a valuable lesson: no matter how tiny or weird looking you are, if you have been on film there are people who will sleep with you.
By the way, way better than the sex tape is the video of Troyer riding his scooter around naked and wasted on some dumb reality show.

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Dustin Diamond (a.k.a. Screech)
Diamond is a perfect example of the mentality of a delusional “celebrity.” The guy’s only work since Saved by the Bell was an appearance on Celebrity Boxing and Celebrity Fit Club yet he thinks that a sex tape will send him back to starhood.

Do you know why Kim Kardashian blew up after sex tapes came out? Because she is smoking hot and more importantly a girl. You’re the guy who played Screech.

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Chyna/Sean Waltman
After leaving the WWE, Chyna appeared in Playboy and then came out with a sex tape (it was called “One Night in Chyna”…very original) that featured her and former WWE “superstar” Sean Waltman (1-2-3 Kid/X-Pac).

This was the closest that we have seen to a gay celebrity sex tape.

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Fred Durst
The fact that Fred Durst is arguably the most famous person on this list makes me sad for our country.

Durst supposedly didn’t release the tape (it was allegedly stolen by a guy who was fixing his computer) and ironically only became more irrelevant after the tape was leaked.

Tonya Harding
This one is my favorite because it was actually sold by Penthouse who though that people would want to see Tonya Harding and her husband having sex.

They were wrong.

Follow the author, Igor Derysh, on Twitter @IgorDerysh

Screech Writing Saved by the Bell Tell-All

Dustin Diamond, who starred as Samuel “Screech” Powers on Saved By The Bell for 13 years, will write a tell-all book called Behind The Bell that delves into the “sexual escapades among cast members, drug use, and hardcore partying” that took place on and off set.

Behind The Bell will be co-written by veteran ghostwriter Alan Goldsher. There is no release date schedule for the book.

Hulk Hogan To Teach Dustin Diamond Wrestling In Upcoming CMT Reality Show Train-Wreck

Dustin Diamond

You know, just when you think a person has made a fool of themselves enough already, they go an get on Hulk Hogan’s upcoming show on CMT, Celebrity Championship Wrestling. Among the contestants will be Saved by the Bell’s Dustin Diamond (Screech Powers), along with other obscure celebrities, like Trishelle from The Real World, Butterbean (boxer of Jackass 2-fame) and Playboy Playmate, Nikki Ziering.

But this isn’t some Celebrity Fit Club spin-off, with any real goal at hand. That is, if you don’t count sweet C-list body-slams! As the press release best explains: (more…)

Watch Out for the Bitchy Straight Guy

Screech Powers

Girls can be classified as bitches. Gay men can too. But can straight guys fall into the ‘bit*hy’ category?

Yup.

The Bitchy Straight Guy is one of the most annoying categories of the male species. He comes in many different shapes and sizes; sometimes he’s a thin hipster with stupid hair (like Marcel Vigneron, a contestant on last season’s Top Chef), sometimes he’s a balding, pseudo creative type (like Dustin Diamond, aka Screech, from this season’s Celebrity Fit Club), and other times he’s a popped-collar, J-Crew sandal wearing frat dude (Chad Michael Murray comes to mind…at least in looks and based on that little marriage snafu with his costar).

The one link between these motley individuals? They’re bitches. Guys with all of the bark but none of the bite. A**wipes who get under everyone’s skin and then run if anyone tries to retaliate. (more…)