It’s finally here, that time you can find out who out of your friends goes to get fake tans. Since it’s winter, it’s not as though they can lie to you and tell you that they actually sat outside to soak in the rays. The people you’ll find in this gallery never had a chance to try to play it off like their look was au natural; only little people living with a creepy hermit who makes candy can ever attain an orange hue without the help of spraypaint. I mean, these guys have frosted f*cking tips. Why would you want anything to do with them? Check out the 75 most wtf fake tans in the gallery after the jump!

Rest easy folks because The Jersey Shore, returns next week on August 4th. I can’t wait to see the further damage they’ve caused to the Italian-American stereotype. I also can’t wait to see the new ‘J-Wow,’ which is exactly why we pulled together this gallery of Jersey Shore chicas. I never knew oompa loompas could be so sexy.

America’s classiest TV show, The Jersey Shore, returns July 29th and we’re on the edge of seats waiting to see if Snooki has officially been declared the world’s first living Oompa Loompa. In order to calm our nerves a little bit we’ve put together a gaggle of gaudy guidettes to remind you just why we’re so excited for the show to return.

Where to begin with Guidos? Since the release of MTV’s Jersey Shore, it’s been tough for me to admit that I was born and bred in the Garden State (even though only one cast member is actually from Jersey). These people are like a cancer on humanity that needs to be ripped out and discarded in a bio-waste facility in Cleveland. Nonetheless, the show is entertaining, if only for their sheer wantonness and clueless stupidity.