This here is a short film by Where the Wild Things Are director, Spike Jonze called “We Were Once a Fairy Tale.” It stars Kanye West and, not-surprisingly, is entirely about Kanye West. What is surprising, however, is what the film is about. Basically, the plot is that Kanye West realizes he’s a super-douche, and in the end, kills his own ego. I’m not so sure making a movie about someone is a good way to make them humble. But if it works, it works. I’m very skeptical. The movie’s definitely worth a watch.

The car you drive says a lot about who you are as a man. It defines your personality to the world around you, as you whiz past at 80-MPH. It is your home away from home, your out-0f-the-office office. And, if you’re lucky, it plays a major factor in helping get you laid. But if you drive one of these tool boxes, don’t be surprised if everyone else on the road wants to punch you in the face.  (more…)

Needless to say, the Internet is here to stay. It’s integrated into every aspect of life, from keeping in touch with friends to sealing business deals to finding the love of your life. It helps you do your homework, throw a party, figure out how to build a gravity bong – for anything you can think of, the Internet is there. But the Internet is also completely changing who you are. Here are 7 Ways the Internet Is Ruining Your Life.  (more…)

We all know this guy – he’s the all-around, quintessential douchebag. Maybe he doesn’t pop his collar or rock a blowout, but he does act like a dickhead to pretty much everyone – and everything – around him. But sometimes that thing is a horse. And it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happens when you f**k with a horse.

The sad reality of life is that most douchebags do not realize that they are douchebags. It’s true. You might be a douchebag and not even know it. In fact, the chances of that are pretty good. (Lack of self-awareness is another major douchebag feature.) So to help you clear things up, here are 10 signs that you just might be a douchebag… (more…)

Let’s face it, try as we might, most of us get stuck across the table from a date who does not know CNN from MTV. The truth is, it’s not the fault of the girl with the bleach blonde hair and fake boobs, it’s yours! Here are five reasons you aren’t dating women with an IQ higher than their age. (more…)

Sorry, guys. I know doing a post about Spencer Pratt is pretty lame, being that he’s one of the world’s biggest assclowns, just after Dane Cook and the ESPN lawyers that are keeping you from watching the Erin Andrews peephole video.

And his douchiness just gets that much more intense, since he just announced, in an interview with Spin magazine, that he’s launching a rap career.

How good of a rapper are you?
Incredible. I have the biggest mouth on earth, so why wouldn’t I be the best rapper — you know what I mean?

Can you freestyle right now?
I mean, everybody keeps on asking me to freestyle. But I always say, “Please, I don’t do freestyle, my goal out here is to get paid.” The word “free” does not exist in Spencer Pratt’s vocabulary. [via Spin.com]

Jesus Dead Baby Christ! This dude is completely out of hand. In fact, I’m starting to wonder if this guy isn’t just taking us all for a ride, Andy Kaufman-style.

I know, I know – he seems to barely have enough brain power to maintain basic bodily functions. But there is definitely more than meets the eye with this dude. And I would be ashamed of myself for being fooled by Spencer F’ing Pratt. Then again, he’s probably just learned to say outlandish sh*t in order to stay relevant. Either way, he’s still a douchebag.

We hate to say it, but our most beloved insult, “douchebag” has finally run its course. Sure, it might still have a little life left in it, but with everyone from tweens to grandmothers using the word, our culture has become so saturated by “douchebags” that it’s just lost the biting edge it once had. So now, the time has come to put this geezer to rest, and find that new word.

But not just any word will do – we need a word that encapsulates all that is wrong with a person, a word that sums up someone’s entire character in the most insulting way possible.

We can’t do this by ourselves – we’re going to need your help. So to help us find the new “douchebag”, send us a message on Twitter with your suggestions for the new word. Feel free to make up words and send multiple suggestions.

We will then take those submissions and put them in a poll for a vote to decide what’s going to replace “douchebag”, and we will then implement a COED policy to use that word in place of “douchebag” on all of our articles. Plus, whoever sends us the winning term will be awarded some type of awesome (though yet-to-be-determined) prize. Trust us, it will be sweet.

So get ready “douchebag”, your days are numbered…

Brock beat up Frank Mir something pretty bad.

He THEN proceeded to: threaten ring security, flip off the crowd, curse and scream at his defeated opponent, and yell “F@$k you in the ass” to Frank Mir’s family. Even in the interview, as he received loud boos for being EVERYTHING that the MMA sport has worked to prevent, we kept saying that he loved the boos.

Hey Brock, you are not in the WWE anymore. You are not fighting Papa Shongo. You, in one night, set the MMA world back 10 years. Brock is everything that no one wanted to see in MMA, a big burly white trash over-steroided douchebag who has no respect for the discipline and sport of martial arts.

Go home Brock. Bang your 50 year old-looking wanna-be stripper wife, and go back to WWE. You are going to ruin a sport that has worked too hard to get where it is. Even Kimbo had better ring generalship and respect for the sport.

Please go ride your Harley without a helmet. I never thought I would say this, but hopefully Kimbo gets through TUF and brings some class back to the heavy weights.

UPDATE:

By now, everyone has had time to cool off, yours truly included. It is important to note several things. Brock has apologized, though half-hearted and a little more of a business apology than a personal one. We also received a phone call claiming potential defamation from Brock Lesnar’s people. Charming.

The facts are plain and simple. Before every fight, the participants are asked inflammatory interview questions. It is designed to inspire the casual MMA fan to fork over $44 USD for the PPV broadcast. No fight, could have POSSIBLY had badder blood than more smack than the last Tito Ortiz/Ken Shamrock fight. Hands down, no arguments. At the end of that fight, after some mild showmanship from Tito – nothing campared to Brock’s hissy fit, Tito and Ken hugged and spoke well of each other. Whatever drama the Lesnar camp is referring to, when they speak of Frank Mir’s comments, can only shadow in comparison in the aforementioned press sh*t-show. Frank Mir made comments and Brock Lesnar made comments. Brock won by face-smashing. The other facts are that Brock would note touch gloves at the beginning of the fight – ok I guess. At the end of the fight, Brock: flipped off the crowd, violated sponsorship agreements, got in Mir’s bloody face and yelled at his family. These are facts.

To flip off a crowd that paid money to see you fight and to get in your downed opponent’s face – is unsportsmanlike and classless.

To act like a spoiled child (though a 300lb child) and stomp around the ring because you “aren’t getting the respect you deserve” – makes you a punk.

Respect is earned. Yes Brock Lesnar, you hold the title. You have also fought under 10 fights. At 10 fights, you can make the respect argument. In the meantime, wave to the crowd, please the sponsors, shake hands and kiss Dana White’s ass for handing you the UFC Heavyweight title. You have defended well so far, but wait for 10 fights and respect will come.

Oh yeah, threats for calling you a classless punk when it is justified…not a good start.

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