Dogs are supposed to be your best friend. Would you shave off half of your best friends hair and die the rest of it different colors? Actually, don’t answer that. I would have no problem taking the owners of dogs like that out behind the barn and ‘Old Yeller’ the sh*t out of them, then having an open casket funeral where they are on display wearing a ridiculously ugly sweater they would have only put on their dog. These 50 dogs’ owners are my first candidates.

I f***ing hate cats. I’m a dog guy. But, that doesn’t mean that I love all dogs. I’m not a huge fan of really small dogs. I’m worried I’ll step on ‘em and kill ‘em. So, why do dogs rule and cats drool? Because they’re extremely helpful and functional. Ever see a seeing eye cat? Exactly. We’re not blind but we do like to get blind stinkin’ drunk, so a dog that can retrieve beers would be so ace. Check out the video of man’s bestest drinkin’ buddy after the jump.

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Fresh on the heels of that creepy Cravendale milk commercial – in which cats have thumbs – comes If Pets Had Thumbs Day! Seriously, what exactly does it take to get a day recognized? Is there a notary involved? Someone out there got crazy high, started talking to his dog about how it would be cool if he gave the thumbs up once in a while and then it dawned on him. HOLIDAY! Here at COED, when we think of thumbs, we think of one person – Megan Fox. Chick’s crazy hot but has weird-lookin’ thumbs. So, naturally, we thought what if pets had Megan Fox thumbs? Find out after the jump!

NEWS FLASH: If you cheat on you’re girl and she finds out, beware! Nothing on earth is more terrifying than a woman’s wrath. And if these seven stories prove anything, it’s that a woman – any woman – with spite in her heart is capable of anything. So let these nauseating tales serve as a warning to any man that’s ever wrong… Click to read more

Unless you are a cat guy, being a dog owner can be one of the most satisfying experiences a person can have. They provide unrivaled companionship, entertainment and someone to talk to who won’t go off and tell everyone your embarrassing sh*t. So if you’re thinking about getting a dog, here are a few things I’ve learned and think you should consider before you take the plunge.

Everyone has to make sacrifices in a relationship. It’s obvious, that in order to get some, you must give something in return. While it’s always fun to give a buddy shit for having to go see Sex in the City 2 with his girl, a Bro must also take into consideration that Karma’s a bitch. On the other side of the coin, there are certain things that guys should never allow his buddy’s girl to get away with. The following eight items are things no guy should allow his buddy to endure from his women.

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Don’t you just want to hit people in the face when they prance down the street with their butt-ugly frilly dogs? Don’t you want to put dogs in sweaters out of their misery? Like it’s bad enough that people insist on dressing their dogs like people (newsflash: your dog doesn’t think she looks hot in that bikini), but it’s worse when people inflict pain like a bad haircut onto an innocent animal.

If you’re a man, you absolutely must have a dog! How else do you plan on meeting women in the park? But you can’t buy just any. You need to buy a manly dog that doesn’t dress up in Christmas sweaters for family photos. No you need a dog that knows how to drink, a dog that knows how to take steroids, a dog that knows how to have an all around good time.

Think the oil spill is bad? Think the recession is a downer? Think again. There’s a growing drug problem in America that’s only going to get worse as the liberal media continues to ignore it. America’s pets are getting high and they’re getting stoned and they’re ordering pizza at 3 A.M. Are you in denial that your very own Fido or Fluffy could be firing up the ole bong when you’re at work? Check out the photos below and start praying that VH1 does a season of celebrity pet rehab.

COED policy more or less dictates that we not include anything involving cute animals doing cute things on our Site. It’s just not our style. But this dog is something else entirely: the son-of-a-bitch can play pool! I’m not talking about some half-assed attempt either. I mean, he’s good! Hell, we might even invite him to the next guy’s night…