He went to prison. Not country club prison, but federal “F you in the A” prison.

Let PETA do their usual song and dance; let them come to every game and spray blood like it’s a 1970s Gallagher concert, but don’t buy into this crap. We have a justice system for a reason. For every crime, there is a debt owed to society. Michael Vick has paid it according to the American judicial system.

Oh the sh*t storm that is going to ensue throughout the entire preseason! We will talk about the dogs, their names, how innocent and precious they were. I even heard an SNY personality claim that they might as well invite OJ back to play. Let’s all slow down, and take a breathe.

What we SHOULD be talking about is WTF are the Eagles going to do with that many QBs. Feely, Kolb…oh…and some dude named Donovan McNabb. Are they going to try some freakish reincarnation of the Wildcat Offense with one of the most talented NFL athletes since Deion? Will we play other positions? Is there a conditional for the $5M balloon in the 2nd year option?

…nope…

Instead, Michael Vick will be spending his first couple of days talking about animal violence with Philadelphia youths. There are already boycotts, burnings and protests scheduled for almost every press conference surrounding this. Look, I expect this from PETA – hot chicks who hate fur, love animals and have too much time on their hands – go crazy. But for the public to participate in the “outrage” is silly if not un-American. He f*&ked up, he paid the price and he is going back to what he does – playing football.

With the writers’ strike going on for a veritable eternity, the NFL stepped in to supply us with enough drama and distractions that my girlfriend actually didn’t mind watching SportsCenter. Who was beating a hooker this week? Which QB was impregnating a super model today? What did Jessica Simpson do to fu** up my Fantasy Football team now?

The questions and drama were endless, but while NFL players were crashing million dollar cars and re-enacting “1 girl, no cup,” we took the time to point out a few of the most impactful. (more…)

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in jail on felony charges related to dogfighting after a shorter-than-expected hearing this morning.

In August Vick and his three co-defendants plead guilty for their affiliation with Bad Newz Kennels, a dogfighting group run out of a Virginia home in Vick’s name and approving the deaths of six to eight pit bulls that didn’t fight up to snuff. He faced a maximum sentence of 5 years but was expected to serve much less. Vick is also suspended indefinitely from the NFL.

One part of the morning that did go as expected was the media circus: by 8:00am dozens upon dozens of news sources, animal rights activists and Vick supporters were stationed around the courthouse, impatiently waiting for the verdict.

In related news, the Atlanta Falcons are 3-9 without Vick and will be attempting to recoup the $20 million bonus paid out to the quarterback.

Canine-connoisseur Michael Vick felt really, really sorry about kicking the s*** out of small puppies…so he wrote down all of his feelings on a piece of paper.

Vick used a cue-card of sorts when he held a press conference last month condemning his own actions, using key words like “apologize” and “forgive” numerous times. Like the poet Baudelaire before him, Vick’s use of words were ripe with rhythm and reason.

Thought to be lost forever, the legendary “apology slip” of Michael Vick has been found.

Now, for all you feisty eBayers out there, you can own this slice of history at an affordable price!

Folks, this is your ONE chance to own an important piece of sports memorabilia.

Take a gander at the apology slip of paper, reprinted in all of its glory, after the jump!

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Yeah, yeah, yeah – dogs are cute and precious, blah, blah, blah. PETA, PETA, PETA – puppy dogs, rainbows and unicorns…

Michael Vick didn’t kill a human; they were f@cking dogs – case closed. There have been countless examples of athletes responsible for deaths – Ray Lewis barely avoided murder charges – let alone drunk driving or worse (let’s not even discuss child support).

Now, it has been a long time since junior high but when last I checked, not only were dogs domesticated animals (that fall much lower on the food chain than humans) but we have killed domesticated animals for much lesser crimes. The ASPCA kills tens of thousands of domesticated animals on a weekly basis. Also, when in the hell did PETA become a lobby group in charge of upholding federal policy?

Don’t get me wrong – Pamela Anderson has great tits, but she needs to shut the f@ck up and just sit there and look pretty. Doesn’t she still have hepatitis or AIDS or some random strand of filth she caught from Kid Rock? Go get therapy bitch, and leave Michael Vick alone. (more…)

Michael Vick is going down! The NFL star will plead guilty to dog fighting charges and face serious jail time as a result. Vick committed the crime and now he must do the time – but more than a few people feel his NFL career should be over as well. What Vick did was pretty psycho but if in one year from now he can throw on pads and preform physically at the same level he did in the past there’s no way this crime should jeopardize his professional career.

Over the past few weeks, the hipsters at ESPN have been debating who the most ‘Now‘ athlete is in the world. Juggernauts in the world of trend, such as Mike Greenberg and Kevin James have voiced their arguments for the likes of David Beckham, Kelly Slater, and Reggie Bush all setting up the much anticipated championship on August 5th between Lebron James and Tiger Woods. The event promises to draw a bigger crowd than the Superbowl, more important than the moon landing and more entertaining than Jake Plummer’s mustache. (more…)