With the New York Comedy Festival kicking off November 4th in New York City, Dane Cook has been making the morning show rounds promoting the festival and his gig at Madison Square Garden. We’re certainly big fans of the NYCF, but we can’t seem to wrap our brains around Dane Cook’s inclusion in an otherwise stellar lineup.  I mean he was voted #1 in our 10 Most Unfunny Comedians of All-Time.  Maybe it would make more sense if he were playing the New York Biggest-Jackass-Orator Festival? Just saying.

Check out Dane Cook and The 10 Most Unfunny Comedians of All-Time

Most people will tell you that female comedians aren’t funny – any of them. Even comic greats, like John Belushi and Chevy Chase said women aren’t funny. Christopher Hitchens wrote an article about it for Vanity Fair. But we don’t think women aren’t funny. We think these women aren’t funny. In fact, they’re so unfunny, they almost make Dane Cook seem like a comic genius.  (more…)

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We’re not sure how they’ve done it, but by some dastardly karmic injustice these 10 a-holes have made successful careers for themselves as comedians by… being about as funny as putting your dog to sleep. For whatever idiotic reason, everyone went along with the shams long enough to make these people into celebrities. We’re not saying we could do their jobs better, we’re just saying it wouldn’t have been hard to find someone who could. So without further adieu – The Top 10 Most Unfunny Comedians of All Time.

Disclaimer: It’s no surprise that Dane Cook made this list – being that he’s such an amazing, incredible douchebag. However – in the spirit of full disclosure – we must admit that Dane Cook was on the cover of the print edition of COED Magazine in 2006. But that’s all in the past – from the days when COED was run by delusional idiots who wished they were Dane’s buffer boys. We’re not them. (more…)

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Back in Ye Olde Tinseltown days, most top-earning stars were stellar actors, singers and dancers, with none of the skills being a crutch to support a lack of talent.

Celebrities were, for the most part, blue-collar workers for the public, earning their fame by signing on to numerous films at once, rigorously training and studying various fields in the name of entertainment.

Fast forward 30-odd years and Flavor of Love’s New York is famous for being a outspoken bitch slathered in pancake makeup; Paris Hilton puts out an perfume ’cause, uh, why not; Sanjaya Malakar is praised for his “great spirit” while butchering the simplest of songs; Dane Cook sells out Stadiums with arm-farts and aimless crowd whooping.

The worst of it? These hacks not only suck at their day jobs: they find it necessary to plague other fields of entertainment by becoming entrepreneurs. (more…)

The ass-tastic Jessica Alba plays a vision-impaired violinist in The Eye who gets her vision back via a cornea transplant…only for her eyes to deceive her and show horrific instances from the prior eyeball-owner’s life! It’s a remake of a 2002 film made in Hong Kong titled Gin Gwai.

Yeah it sounds kinda lame (like her last flick) but she’s hot, and that’s good for something…right?

Check out The Eye trailer after the jump. (more…)

I am completely baffled whenever I hear anybody say they find Dane Cook funny. Every time. Without fail. Am I being too critical or are the standards for comedy lower than ever?

What has Cook ever done that’s even remotely funny? He’s a third-rate Adam Sandler man-boy out to please vapid sorority chicks and pre-teen boys who haven’t learned how to use their cocks yet – and I guess that’s funny in itself (at his expense).

Tall-glass of Haterade aside, everybody deserves a second chance, and that’s what Good Luck Chuck is out to prove. Unfortunately for Cook, it fails miserably in every possible way.
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Outside of being the most unfunny comedian of the new millennium – his shtick is one-part enunciating certain words and phrases for cheap laughs and two-parts “cutie-pie” Abercomedy and Fitch – Dane Cook is gay. Really, really, really gay. Don’t let his teaming up with Jessica Alba in Good Luck Chuck fool you: Dane Cook rails dudes.

If his limp, non-comedy wasn’t already an indicator of his fagginess, his new “song” rams his wild boner-for-boys straight up the non-proverbial pooper. Only 12-year-old sissy boys (or people with the stunted taste of a 12-year-old sissy boy) like Dane Cook – no exceptions.

Mitch Hedberg and Bill Hicks are both rolling in their graves.

“When did mediocrity and banality become a good image for your children?” – Bill Hicks