September 13th is Fortune Cookie Day. The highlight of pretty much any Chinee’ Foo’ meal is the reading of fortune cookies and adding “that’s what she said” or “in bed” to the end of it. I say that because I’m not a huge fan of Chinese food and am usually excited to leave the restaurant (fortune cookies come with the check). These fortune cookies, however, need no edit – they’re funny as hell as is. Some of them are written in poor Chinglish, some are just flat out strange, all of them leave the reader thinking “WTF.” Check out the craziest fortune cookies after the jump!

Humans evolved to like fatty, fatty foods. The more calories packed into the smaller package, the better. Why? Because before refrigerators, we were afraid we wouldn’t come across food for a while. This could be one reason why I looooove peanut butter so much (at least I’m telling myself that). I can pick up on the tiniest hint of it in anything. Those are my ancestral fat-feelers going off. Anyways, if you feel the same way about the creamy stuff, or if you’re just drunk and finally have the guts to eat this often guilt-ridden food, you might like these alternative ways to use it. Check out our rad recipes after the jump.

It’s only a matter of time before the Government starts dictating what we American’s can and cannot eat. Before consuming our favorite foods becomes a criminal act we pay homage to the Super-Sized foods that has made this country great.

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