Dear Condom Companies, Your Packaging Sucks

condom Dear Condom Companies,

Your packaging sucks. Yet few products in life (aside from brakes, rope, fire hydrants and weaponry) need to work in the heat of the moment more than the condom.

The pressure to get that thing on before the mood changes – while still looking smooth and effortless – is so monumental, the stress alone can shut you down. Add to that your hands and everything else are probably covered in slippery lube. So why are these little rubber wonders of technology so dang hard to open?

Now I’m as safe sex conscious as anybody. And I’m not saying there aren’t ways to keep things interesting while doing what needs to be done.

But when you’re looking down at a beautiful naked woman staring back, waiting for you to tediously fiddle with slippery plastic, it takes all your might to not just throw the f**king thing aside and get down to business. (more…)