We’re not sure how they’ve done it, but by some dastardly karmic injustice these 10 a-holes have made successful careers for themselves as comedians by… being about as funny as putting your dog to sleep. For whatever idiotic reason, everyone went along with the shams long enough to make these people into celebrities. We’re not saying we could do their jobs better, we’re just saying it wouldn’t have been hard to find someone who could. So without further adieu – The Top 10 Most Unfunny Comedians of All Time.

Disclaimer: It’s no surprise that Dane Cook made this list – being that he’s such an amazing, incredible douchebag. However – in the spirit of full disclosure – we must admit that Dane Cook was on the cover of the print edition of COED Magazine in 2006. But that’s all in the past – from the days when COED was run by delusional idiots who wished they were Dane’s buffer boys. We’re not them. (more…)

It is almost not fair. This movie has been a cinematic c**k-tease for the last 2 years. It might be part genius and part greedy corporation, but the way they keep spitting out media info for this movie – it is just enough to keep your attention. I have still been waiting to see the giant exploding monster, the owl-mobile, Dr. Manhattan blowing more sh*t up, Ozymandias’ cat and whether they are going to make Rorschach extra ugly looking. I hope these photos will help keep your balls as blue as mine are. (more…)

(click photo to watch video)

Writing letters to Santa is so 20th Century. This year, kids in the know are forgoing the jolly ol’ fat man for 30 Rock’s funny ol’ black man, Tracy Morgan Jordan. In this video, he’ll answer everything from what kind of crayon he’d make (if he made crayons) to “What is time?” Sure, the answers might not “make sense,” but with the way things are going these days, making sense also seems to be a thing of the past. So pay attention boys and girls, you might just learn yourself something…you know, or not. But you’ll laugh your ass off either way.

When you think of Russell Crowe, comedy isn’t the first thing that comes to mind–unless, of course, pummeling a dude in the face with a metal helmet is your idea of humor. Which is why when we heard Russell Crowe announced that he told the Sydney Morning Herald that he might be playing comedian Bill Hicks in an upcoming bio-pic, the first thing we did was laugh.

But then we remembered that Bill Hicks was a total badass. From the great state of Texas, Hicks’ pissed-off, stand-up/rant style of comedy landed him the #19 spot on Comedy Central’s ‘Greatest Stand-Ups of All Time.’ But like all good things, Bill’s end came too quickly, dying from pancreatic cancer at age 32. So since we were blue-balled with that one, a bio pic is definitely in order.

Check out a very NSFW (language) Bill Hicks stand-up act after the jump! (more…)

When you think of Russell Crowe, comedy isn’t the first thing that comes to mind–unless, of course, pummeling a dude in the face with a metal helmet is your idea of humor. Which is why when we heard Russell Crowe announced that he told the Sydney Morning Herald that he might be playing comedian Bill Hicks in an upcoming bio-pic, the first thing we did was laugh.

But then we remembered that Bill Hicks was a total badass. From the great state of Texas, Hicks’ pissed-off, stand-up/rant style of comedy landed him the #19 spot on Comedy Central’s ‘Greatest Stand-Ups of All Time.’ But like all good things, Bill’s end came too quickly, dying from pancreatic cancer at age 32. So since we were blue-balled with that one, a bio pic is definitely in order.

Check out a very NSFW (language) Bill Hicks stand-up act after the jump! (more…)

This one goes out to the guys who know Jim Rome!

You know, the host of Jim Rome is Burning and other various FoxSports and ESPN talk shows?

He also got snacked down in 1994 by NFL quarterback Jim Everett for repeatedly calling him “Chris” Everett…it’s a pretty famous YouTube clip.

I think the guy is a major douche and apparently comedian Frank Caliendo (famous for his stint of Mad TV and TV commercials featuring impressions of George W. Bush and John Madden) thinks so too!

In this NFL on FOX clip Caliendo ridicules Jim Rome for our pleasure:

Tom Hanks, 51, has a real down-to-earth, normal MySpace page, complete with tell-all blogs and video. And get this: he pimped out his profile all by himself! You know something’s wrong with the world when Tom Hanks is the second most-famous “Tom” on MySpace.

To safeguard yourself from knocking-up your girl turn to the Lady Comp, a device that detects if a girl is ovulating or not. It looks like an alarm clock. The future is now.

Some teachers teach, some have sexual relations with their students; others blow the f*** up on their students at the drop of a dime.

These analogies are surreal, like a Keebler elf skiing down a citrus mountain.

When an adolescent game of “show me yours and I’ll show you mine” is documented on a cell phone, child-on-child pornography happens.

Give the SNL actor/drummer some!

When your country is down and out the always-reliable “hot babes in bikinis” route works wonders.

My roommate is scared shitless by Carrot Top.

She won’t look at pictures of him, runs from the room if he happens to come on TV, and refuses to even say his name.

She won’t explain her fear, just whispers that “him and a ventriloquist doll are two the scariest things you could ever see at the foot of your bed in the middle of the night.â€?

While my phobia is not as rampart as hers, I completely understand the fear.

The dude was weird looking even before he started on the ‘roids; now that he’s jacked, he barely resembles a human.

Something is seriously wrong with his face, but it’s hard to tell what. (more…)