On February 2nd, CNN correspondent Anderson Cooper was assaulted by a mob supporting current president of Egypt Hosni Mubarak in Cairo. While we can all agree most reporters are fake and deserve a nice, solid punch in the face once in a while, they still have a job to do and judging by the beatdowns caught on video below, the majority of the time the attack isn’t warranted. If you see a reporter by your place tonight, give him or her a hug… or better yet, a bear hug.

We’re past this whole “Was the Balloon Boys story a hoax” nonsense. Obviously, it’s all bullsh*t. And if you think it might not be bullsh*t, all you have to do is watch this video of the father releasing the g*ddamn balloon to know that it’s a hoax. Now that we have that resolved, let’s move on to bigger things: Who’s going to play who in inevitable upcoming Hollywood biopic…

After discovering that the “Balloon Boy,” who was allegedly floating around at around 7000 feet in a giant, homemade helium contraption, was actually just hiding in the garage, the news shows went crazy booking the whole family for an interview. But during this segment with Wolf Blitzer, the boy, Falcon (really, that’s his name) admits that “We did this for the show.”

It is on. And it’s online. So you want to witness the exciting hoopla surrounding today’s historic Presidential Inauguration of Barack Obama, but you’re stuck going to class or penned to your desk at work. Fear not boys and girls, the Internet has got your back. From Facebook and Twitter to live streaming on your iPhone, this is definitely not your grandfather’s inauguration.

I love me some TV on-air personalities, but when they start getting Presidential appointments – I start having issues. Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN’s chief medical correspondent, has been approached by Barack Obama’s transition team about the U.S. surgeon general’s post, according to sources inside the transition and at CNN.

It’s About to Get Ugly: Tonight’s debate starts at 9pm (EST) | Surprise, Surprise: White House cleared use of waterboarding | Get ready to drive: Oil drops to its lowest price in 13 months | It’s not over yet: Stocks plunge 8-percent today | WWIII Update: Talks between Russia and Georgia collapse | There’s Always Tomorrow: Cheney s… Click to read more

While we were all watching our parents cry over their lost retirement accounts and House Republicans decided not the bail out the rich – I was expecting stigmata or the seas to turn to blood. Instead, I found a little blurb on CNN that noted a $25B loan to the auto industry that was quietly approved with some MAJOR implications.
First, the background: the… Click to read more

If so, I can’t find it.
So Obama is done giving his speech, and I am flipping between MSNBC with Chris Matthews/Keith Oberman and FOX.
If Matthews and Oberman were any more up Obama’s ass – they would have been covered in sh*t. FOX on the otherhand, might has well have been burning pictures of Obama and were tearing apart every vocal inflecti… Click to read more

In fifth grade, I vowed to say No to Drugs. More correctly, I was forced to say “No”, or I would not be allowed to walk the stage at fifth grade graduation (which would have been social suicide).
So I did, and my little, naive fifth grade self truly believed that I would never take a shot of tequila, smoke a joint and I was absolutely never going to eat a fungus that gro… Click to read more

15 years old.
Either this is THE most politically aligned 15 year old in the history of fascist religious extremism, or he is lying his ass off.
On the one side, all I hear about is how fanatical these Muslim extremists are at their precious little ‘jihad’ (cue COED headquarters office car bomb). Yes, these extremists are crazy. Yes, they are craz… Click to read more

Have you always imagined beer being a juvenile drink of choice? You know, the first thing you are able to buy with a fake id at the convenience store and the mainstay of colleges across the nation?
I always imagined a “mature” adult being the one to order vodka on the rocks or some sort of hardcore liquor. Well, it’s time for all of us to throw th… Click to read more

We live in a society filled with bad, bad ideas. Gigli, The Bill Engvall Show, Txt Me Tees. With all of these contrived, truly terrible ideas being created and than marketed around me, I tried to give one bad a chance. On July 23, CNN is going to host a debate for the Democratic presidential hopefuls. The futuristic twist to this debate is that anyone in the countr… Click to read more

First video is an extremely awkward interview on CNN

Video two is Evan on Jimmy Kimmel. Why would his parent laugh at this with the crowd?… Click to read more