Merry Christmas, e’erybody! By now, you’ve opened up your gifts and planned out when and how you’ll be able to return / throw away / exchange them all. If you’re unsatisfied with tonight’s lineup of sh*tty Christmas specials and don’t feel like watching the Packers blast the Bears, we’ve got a virtual feast for the eyes that includes Classic Christmas movies, Christmas cleavage, Page 3 Girls, Denise Milani, the ultimate Christmas music playlist, Christmas drinking games, Christmas songs to avoid, Santa Claus beer pongin’ & bongin’, suicidal Christmas dogs, beer can Christmas trees, Christmas taxidermy, drunk XXX-mas party girls, and WTF Christmas ornaments. Click through to overdose on the Christmas spirit.

These ladies know how to listen to some good Funday advice and are 100% embracing the cheer of the season. It’s either that, or the fact that the pressure to buy awesome gifts for people and attend every party that they’ve been invited to has really gotten to them. Either way, these girls making out with each other and rubbing up on Jolly Saint Nick really are perpetuating the notion of “T*ts the season…” Check out the drunken ladies after the jump!

Yes, it’s finally here. You’ve been hoping and waiting for this day to come for months now and it’s finally come. No, I’m not talking about Christmas, dummy, I’m talking about the start of the NBA season. We’ll let you open these NBA cheerleader gifts somewhat early because we’re like the cool, single uncle of the family. Check out hotties after the jump!

It’s almost Christmas and I can only assume that every single one of our readers is preparing to go to mass tonight. Since I figured that you’ve all been so busy pouring over the religious significance of this holiday, I should try to keep things a little light. Let’s not forget that it’s also about giving, having fun, and having time off… So take a minute, relax and check out the sexy renditions of Mrs. Claus – the woman who keeps Santa alive each and every year. Pics after the jump!

this past weekend, I decided to take a stroll and what I discovered was ridiculous. There was an absurd number of dogs dressed up in Christmas attire – sweaters, hats… and the icing on the cake was most of them were wearing SHOES. I understand it’s the city and there are needles pretty much everywhere, but shoes? Aren’t paws nature’s shoes? Maybe I’m thinking of horses. Anyway, try to put yourself in the shoes of the dogs in this sadly comical gallery of dogs in christmas garb. Sucks, right? Unless you’re a swagimal, then you can pull it off. See the sadness after the jump.

When you’re in college or right out of school, you’re most likely hard up for cash. You gotta make do with whatcha got. That means washing solo cups, re-using condoms, and putting your mountain of empty beer cans and bottles to good use. Buying a christmas tree is out of the question – the real ones are messy as sh*t and getting a fake one is bor… Click to read more

The Christmas and NYE double-dip is upon us and that can only mean one thing: you’re going to get a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or involved in an ‘it’s complicated’ kind of thing. We call this “cuffing season.” As the temperatures drop people just can’t seem to stop themselves snuggling up next to someone. But what if that someone is someone really inadvisable, festively plump, a bit annoying, and sure to be dumped in time for Spring Break? Then you need to learn how to avoid getting cuffed: sounds easy but with all that mistletoe around it’s harder than it seems. Check out our resident Pick Up Artist’s advice after the jump!

We were a little concerned when we learned Denise would be competing in a bikini fitness competition. Truth is, when most girls work out a lot, they lose weight (which is good), but then they risk losing their best assets (breasts). So, we hit up her Facebook profile to monitor her process and make sure her exceptional breasticles hadn’t receded to knobs like most bodybuilders. We’re not completely sold on her new rock hard physique, so we take a look back at Christmas past with a gallery of her pre-fitness ornaments on full display. Click through to unwrap nostalgia.

Last week, we showed you the hairiest man alive, the most delicious parking ticket, a cat burrito, and the Predator kicking mad game. This week’s Freaky Friday features a creepy Barack Obama mannequin, Courtney Stodden stealing Christmas, Gary Busey as Santa Claus, wtf taxidermy, and Lindsey Wixson looking bloody good. Begin your weekend with a whole lotta weird after the jump.

The good peeps at UltimateCoupons whipped up this nostalgic infographic that takes a look at the most popular holiday toys of the past 30 years. After glancing at the items, I now realize how good I had it as a kid. I got just about each and every top toy each and every Christmas. I don’t know that I can promise the same to my kids – illegitimate or otherwise. Take a stroll down memory lane after the jump (*cue “Back in Time”).

Let’s be honest, Santa’s a pretty stressed out dude. Don’t let that jolly routine fool you. After a hard day’s work in which he delivers millions of gifts, he’s gonna celebrate like it’s 2012 (read: end of the world). We can’t think of a better way to let loose than with beer bongs and beer pong. Sinkin’ cup… Click to read more

Oh, it’s on now! They say timing is everything, well I just had two friends each forward me a link to a video – one features Philly’s version of “Da Bears” titled, “A Philly Guy Christmas” and the other features Hasidic Jews doing the Dougie really really well. Last time we had a showdown between the Mustached Mullet Whistler and the Girl With The Tramp Stamp Tattoo. Mullet Man is just barely winning. Now, we’ve got ourselves a HOLY WAR! Watch the combatants then vote in our poll after the jump.

Where would the world be without Page 3? Probably on Page 4 confused as sh*t or, at the very least, entrenched in a war to end all wars. You see, you deprive a man of simple pleasures like topless busty British glamour models and you push him ever so closer to taking out his repression on his fellow man via nuke. As we all know, Christmas is a time of peace and goodwill, so we thought we’d give you a rage-reducing gallery of Page 3 Girls in their skimpiest X-mas attire. Click through to open your gift!

Last week, we stuck it to all around great guy and God’s quarterback, Tim Tebow. You can’t imagine how many death threats we got. So weird that people who purport to be Christians lose their Christianity when someone addresses it. Anyways, this week we’re a little less holy and more commercial with a gallery of demotes that totes lolz xxx-… Click to read more

South Park’s 15th season ended a little over a week prior to Thanksgiving. The 16th season isn’t scheduled to premiere until March 14th. So, how do you fill the void AND your toilet bowl in the meantime? How about with Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo? Though he hasn’t appeared in an episode since season 4, the happy-go-lucky dookie will never be forgotten. In celebration of the friendliest piece of feces outside of Ashton Kutcher, we pinched off this photo gallery of homemade Mr. Hankeys. Click to heidi ho, yo!