I highly doubt I’m shedding new light on a burnt-out subject, but Chris “Leave Britney Alone!” Crocker is a pointless piece of pop-culture, destined to become a third-tier Jeopardy answer.

Earlier today Page Six reported that Chris Crocker has retracted his infamous “Leave Britney alone!” catchphrase, stating the following: “Britney needs to not be left alone right now. I think if everyone left her alone, she could do some major damage to herself.”

Awesome! Thank god we know Chris Crocker’s worthless opinion on a worthless situation.

Now that he’s retracted his powerful statement, why does Crocker remain famous? Does he still deserve a TV show, now that his only claim to fame is all for naught? (more…)

Oh, reality shows: the bane of our existence and our favorite guilty pleasure. ‘Tis a paradox.

When word first came around that Poison frontman Bret Michaels was poised to star in his own reality show, flashes of teased hair, war-paint makeup and garish outfits plagued my subconscious. And whaddaya know – the show played out with every stereotype in tow, outside of the unexpected charming demeanor of Mr. Michaels.

If Bret was any other dude you wouldn’t feel his “plight” – the burden of man who wants nothing more than a expert hooker under the guise of a nice girl exclusively for him. Rock of Love’s greatest trick was making viewers empathize with Michaels’ daunting task of finding a “nice girl” (read: a slut behind closed doors) amongst out-in-the-open-sluts/party chicks.

Basically, Bret wants what every man in history has ever wanted. (more…)

Before Chris Crocker whined his way into our subconscious, before Tay Zonday baffled YouTube audiences with “Chocolate Rain,” there was Kelly – “Shoes” Kelly.

After almost a year of anticipation, Kelly (real name Liam Sullivan) has finished “her” video for “Let Me Borrow That Top,” a song recorded and posted on MySpace earlier this year.

Considering Liam’s other videos – “Shoes,” “Muffins,” “Love Letters,” “Pleasant Valley Road” among others – have been mega-successful, it’s safe to say that “Let Me Borrow That Top” will take over the pop-culture world in a heartbeat. Betch…

Check out the new video for “Let Me Borrow That Top” after the jump!

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Sexy girls farting: it’s a myth that, once in a great while, is debunked by a crop-duster totally embarrassed by their flatulence – but not Peteuse, the sexiest farter on the web.

Peteuse, a 31-year-old hottie hailing from San Francisco, is a soon-to-be YouTube celebrity, known for her good looks and funny demeanor as much as her legendary air biscuits. The greatest asset Peteuse has in her favor is a total lack of slutty “porn sexiness” – this is just some radical girl who thinks farts are hilarious. While you can find her on the farting-fetish website GirlsGoneGross, that website seems to be more for bottom-feeding fetishists willing to shell over $20 to see scantily-clad (or naked) girls toot away. Our Peteuse is too good for that, I say.
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What do you get when you mix a bleached midwestern queen screaming under his bedsheet, with a monotonous, bouncing, electric piano line?

A whole lot of pain – chocolate pain. Here is our rendition of the newest YouTube crazy, Chris Crocker ranting over Tay Zonday’s viral classic, “Chocolate Rainâ€?.

The end result ain’t pretty. We apologize in advance.