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If I had a chimpanzee, I would surely dress it up in “people clothes.” I think it would be “funny.” But does the chimp have any say in the matter? Hell no. And when that day comes and it attacks me, would people be so damn surprised? Absolutely not – because f**king around with dangerous wild animals is unnatural and retarded. To prove our point, here are the Top 5 Animal Maulings.

Holy sh*t! If you have never seen two firetrucks slam into each other at top speed, you don’t know what you’ve been missing. Next we have a chimp riding a Segway. Then Sarah Palin shows off her swimsuit wearing abilities. A girl checks herself for freshness. And lovely Latina Roberta gets her white shirt wet on TV. Almost Transformers is kind of li… Click to read more