The second season of Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time premieres Wednesday October 5th after South Park at 10:30pm ET / 9:30pm CT on Comedy Central. Though we hear Gay Robot won’t be returning, we’re still pumped for more doses of Wheelchair Cat, Lady Gaga’s brother Garry Gaga, and the most disturbing breakfast cereal mascot of all-time, Mr. Creepy. We thought we’d celebrate the second season debut by creepifying 2011′s most iconic pics. Refresh your memory of Mr. Creepy with the Creepios commercial then check him out chillin’ with Casey Anthony, Nancy Grace, Anthony Weiner, Courtney Stodden, Kim Kardashian, and ScarJo after the jump.

I’m not sure who’s to blame for the comedy group Rigor Tortoise’s explosion on the internet last week, but I’m certainly not complaining. One of my favorite videos by them is their tribute to a close friend, a friend that they can trust, a friend that isn’t Charlie Sheen. We’ve got no beef with Charlie, but he’s shown that he can do a Columbian boatload of drugs take a joke or two. That kind of skill is important, because he gets a real whooping in this song. Check it out above.

We’ve been looking forward to the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen ever since it was announced, however, it seems Charlie’s backed off his near year-long, high-octane rampage over trolls. His ‘best wishes’ mini-speech at the Emmys indicates that maybe Sheen really had overdosed on Sheen; that sanity had been restored and the haggard, wild-eyed man who housed goddesses was now turning over a new leaf. While we understand it’s humanly impossible to keep up “the crazy train” forever, we’d like to pay homage to a man who might’ve paid for a lot of p*ssy but still got a fair amount of fine trim free of charge. Check out our list of his hottest hookups after the jump.

September 13th is Jeffrey Ross’s birthday. The current New York Friars’ Club “Roastmaster General” has been a roaster for the last 8 Comedy Central Roasts. In my mind, the last great insult comic was Don Rickles. Many believe he (begrudgingly) passed the torch to Ross, who manages to stick, jab, and uppercut with vitriolic barbs that sneak attack its victims simply because of his looks and delivery. While Rickles was a bulldog, Ross is like a basset hound. Anyway, to celebrate his grand entry to the stage known as life and to get you pumped for what is sure to be another classic skewering on the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen on September 19th, we’ve pulled together some of his best roasts. Check ‘em out after the jump.

In today’s edition of Wrap It Up, the West Memphis 3 (three men convicted of murdering boy scouts and receiving the death sentence and life imprisonment) were released from prison, Christine O’Donnell uses witchcraft to convince you she’s not a witch, the 10 sluttiest cities in America are outed, a former Raiders cheerleader turned cop sues over sexual harassment (she’s HOT!), Burger King’s creepy mascot retired, Germany made the Facebook ‘like’ button illegal, Forbes releases its list of the highest paid players in the NFL, Charlie Sheen bitches out Simon Rex (MTV VJ turned rapper), new trailers for Machine Gun Preacher and Ghost Rider 2 and much more. Check out the sh*t we should’ve published after the jump.

Ah, to be a famous actor. The women, the house, the cars, the FREE drinks! We’ve already provided you with the reasons why it’s great to be a guy in Hollywood. One reason is you can drink your face off and people will still love you (unlike that b*tch who slapped you at the bar last night). So, while we can’t BE the actors on our list, we certainly wouldn’t mind the next best thing: drinking WITH them. We chose some for their ass-getting abilities, some for their war stories, and some for their sheer insanity. See who made the cut, vote in our poll, and let us know if you have any additions in the comments section after the jump.

Will Ferrell is a comedic genius. Many will agree while some others think he’s just plain stupid. Well, those few others can go f***ing fly a kite because we absolutely love the dude. He got together with his good friends Adam McKay and Chris Hency to form one of the funniest websites of all time. I can not believe it took this long for a comedic actor to use a… Click to read more

In today’s edition of Wrap It Up, we look at an accomplice in Biggie Smalls’ murder coming forward, Entenmann’s cooking up a pretty edgy tweet to capitalize on the Casey Anthony not guilty verdict, Fox News reporting Obama’s dead, a crazy rally between senior citizens at Wimbledon, a drunk Brewers fan falling down stairs then pissing himself, Audrina Patridge in FHM, JWoww in lingerie for Maxim, Kobayashi crushing Joey Chestnut, Charlie Sheen’s Comedy Central Roast, penis size, underrated women, and much more. Check out the sh*t we should’ve published after the jump.

Wrap It Up is our end of the day daily feature where we highlight the internet’s top pics, vids, stories, and headlines for the day. Today’s items include the identity of Quentin Tarantino’s toe suckee revealed, the King of Pop giving a teeny bopper boy band member cocaine, MySpace selling out, a battle of the WAGs, a battle of the trailer mash-ups, NFLers wearing Superman snuggies, Louis CK explaining farts, the new Lenny Kravitz meme, James Franco’s first music video, and much more than meets the eye. Check out the sh*t we should’ve published after the jump.

Wrap It Up is COED’s end of the day feature in which we highlight the day’s best, buzzworthy, most WTF pics, vids, stories, and headlines on the internet. Today’s items feature the Dodgers going broke, Jose Canseco getting ejected, Michael Jackson’s Thriller jacket 7 figure price tag, Billy the Kid’s only known photograph selling for 7 figures, a drunk woman spraying breast milk at cops, Karen Gillan stumbling through hotel hallways nude, Rosario Dawson planking, the Shannon Twins mesh dresses, Sara Jean Underwood’s bikini, Charlie Sheen goddess-less, the whitest colleges in America, gay pride and much more. Check out the sh*t we should’ve published after the jump!

Wrap It Up is COED’s end of the day daily feature in which we show you the day’s top pics, vids, posts, and stories from the internet. Today’s items include a Colorado escort who calls herself “Krispi Kreme, your sweet Denver treat”, Justin Bieber doing David Letterman’s top ten before getting attacked by some old guy, Erin Andrews flipping out on a 12 year old who asked for her autograph, Whitey Bulger getting arrested, the Manning Brothers becoming Football Cops, David Hasselhoff eating David Hasselfhoff, the Charlie Sheen mask, and much more. Check out the sh*t we should’ve published after the jump.

Blazing solo is a mellow way to unwind, but sometimes you just want share the kind bud with some buddies. You’ve probably had some memorable smoke sessions with your friends but what if you could smoke with a group of 10 celebs? You buggin’ out yet? Well, we’ve got a list of famous faces that will guarantee the puff parade of the millennium. We’re talking righteous riffs, laugh factories, and storytellers. Check it out after the jump and let us know if we missed any (because we got high) in the comments section at the bottom of the post. Just blaze!

• The Force really pisses off the office (Heavy)
• Christy Turlington sweats through her hoo-ha A LOT (Barstool Sports)
• 5 classic senior pranks (College Humor)
• Cintia Dicker models bikinis for Victoria’s Secret (Guyism)
• 25 funny senior class yearbook photos (theCHIVE)
• Vancouver Canucks flasher has a face, we need a name (Busted Coverage)
• Sneak peek of Tom Hardy as Bane in The Dark Knight Rises (The Superficial)

See more awesome links after the jump!

You think it’s funny but it’s SNOT! This Canadian newscaster had some unshakable bad luck while reporting outside of a recent Charlie Sheen show in Toronto. We’ve got to give props to the news lady for holding it together like a pro. Like it or snot, this is 41 seconds of gut-wrenching nasal drip drama.

• Jaimie Alexander Is A Goddess Among Mortals
• Naked Chicks Beat Up Bums
• See why Kobe got fined $100k
• Things You Could Do With Simon Cowell’s Salary
• Rack Of the Year Candidate: Tamara Ecclestone
• Awful Romantic Comedies They’ll Probably Make Next
• Lady Gaga looks hot in Harpers Bazaar?

See more awesome links after the jump!