Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in jail on felony charges related to dogfighting after a shorter-than-expected hearing this morning.

In August Vick and his three co-defendants plead guilty for their affiliation with Bad Newz Kennels, a dogfighting group run out of a Virginia home in Vick’s name and approving the deaths of six to eight pit bulls that didn’t fight up to snuff. He faced a maximum sentence of 5 years but was expected to serve much less. Vick is also suspended indefinitely from the NFL.

One part of the morning that did go as expected was the media circus: by 8:00am dozens upon dozens of news sources, animal rights activists and Vick supporters were stationed around the courthouse, impatiently waiting for the verdict.

In related news, the Atlanta Falcons are 3-9 without Vick and will be attempting to recoup the $20 million bonus paid out to the quarterback.

If there is any lesson to be learned from the charges filed against Lindsay Lohan, it’s that you should always, always shove every last crystal of cocaine up your nose before cops pull you over. That way you won’t get charged for possession…?

LiLo has been charged with seven misdemeanors (and zero felonies – more on that in a bit) from her two counts of DUI, adding up to a grand total of four days in jail if she is found guilty on all accounts. (more…)