Like clothes, jobs, favorite movies and whether or not you voted for George W. Bush, the type of cocktail a person drinks says a lot more about a person than you might think. Fortunately, the lovely Dr. Jackie Black has laid out the lowdown on what a girl’s drink of choice says about her. Read and learn… and then drink.

Click on a cocktail to see what secrets her favorite beverage reveals about your girl’s inner self.

Happy New Year, you sloppy effing lush!  Yes, the clock has turned and the ball has dropped and your head is effing pounding from the stupid mixture of bullsh*t shots, champagne and whatever else got placed in your hand last night.   Sure, it sounded like a good idea at the time.   I mean, it wasn’t 1999, but if your like us here at COED, it’s balls deep or not at all.

So, now that the parties over and you’ve hugged the porcelain throne more times than your favorite MeeMaw gasping for air on her death bed, it’s time to get yourself feeling like half a human again.  Here are 9 fool-proof New Year’s Hangover Cures that promise to get you moving back in the right direction.

It’s just a cocktail… or is it? Relationship expert Dr. Jackie Black says your girl’s drink of choice says alot more about her than you might think.

Click on a cocktail to see what secrets her favorite beverage reveals about your girl’s inner self.

                   beer                           martini                           scotch                           red wine

              lemon drop                 champagne                         cosmo                      rum and coke

When she’s not fighting for the drunken Elephants in India the incomparable Paris Hilton shills for Rich Prosecco’s Champagne in a Can, which is exactly what it sounds like.

The campaign ad shows Hilton naked, covered in gold, in the Mojave Desert. That’s hot – literally.

Not much to report here, other than Champagne in a can has existed for a long time, even before Sofia Blanc de Blancs of the Coppola winery. Long live the original champagne in a can.

Ever heard of a “chelada”? Not enchilada, although those are really rad…but that’s neither here or there.

A chelada is a Mexican style of beer that’s flavored with lime and salt (Corona with salt, basically). The drink is popular in Mexico and Costa Rica but has yet to become a hit in America. The day where cheladas are popular in the U.S. has been set back a decade or so with the release of Miller Chill, a poor excuse for a beer.

Miller Chill apes that mask-the-awful-taste-with-limes-and-salt formula cheladas have down pat – with an unfortunate twist. Chill contains the flavor of artificial limes and salt that leaves an aftertaste similar to flat Sprite lingering in your mouth.

Miller Chill tastes like sour soda.

Usually my preference for a certain kind of beer is nonexistent – I enjoy Negro Modello as much as I do a bootleg brand like Schlitz, when the occasion hits – but Chill is plain ill. Drinking it to get wasted is much more difficult than regular brews due to its kiddie-sweet flavor. After convincing my bro to share a six-pack of the stuff with me he opted out after one-and-a-half beers. (more…)