That’s right, we’re hiring. If you (or your smarter, better looking, funnier friend) thinks you have what it takes to be a part of our well-oiled machine, apply today. If you don’t know the difference between their / they’re / there or you’re / your, don’t bother applying. If you’ve never been laid or shotgunned a beer, please re-evaluate your life. Full submission details are after the jump!

Here in America, people can choose pretty much whatever job they want. As long as you get an appropriate education, work hard and keep a good head on your shoulders, your future is what you want it to be. But there are some jobs out there that are guaranteed to wither that charming personality of yours into a bitter, nasty dickwad. Whether it’s long hours, dealing with other nastier co-workers, or just the supreme authority and invincibility that comes along with the territory, these jobs will morph you into f***ing @sshole. Check ‘em out after the jump.

That’s right, bitches – we’re hiring. If you (or your smarter, better looking, funnier friend) thinks you have what it takes to be a part of our well-oiled machine, submit your resume … seriously, make a damn resume… and 3-5 relevant writing samples to editor@teamcoed.com. If you don’t know the difference between their / they’re / there or you’re / your, do not bother applying. If you’ve never been laid or shotgunned a beer, please apply re-evaluate your life. Full submission details are after the jump.

It’s 8:34 a.m. and you’re still in bed, hung-over and bleary-eyed  from the bar crawl the night before. You’ve hit the snooze button five times already and you’ve gotta be at work in 15 minutes. Even if rabid dogs or fat women were chasing you, there is no possible way you can get your ass into the office today. So what do you do? You pick up that phone and use one of these fool-proof excuses to get out of work. Check out our list after the jump.

Common knowledge tells us that smoking weed while trying to do anything “productive” is a fool’s errand – the two just don’t mix. And if you’re a lawyer, airline pilot, large crane operator or brain surgeon, that’s probably true. But for many of us, with far less intense jobs, marijuana can actually help you do… Click to read more

Common knowledge tells us that smoking weed while trying to do anything “productive” is a fool’s errand – the two just don’t mix. And if you’re a lawyer, airline pilot, large crane operator or brain surgeon, that’s probably true. But for many of us, with far less intense jobs, marijuana can actually help you do your job better! Here are the 12 jobs where weed actually acts as a performance-enhancing drug.