Sorry, guys. I know doing a post about Spencer Pratt is pretty lame, being that he’s one of the world’s biggest assclowns, just after Dane Cook and the ESPN lawyers that are keeping you from watching the Erin Andrews peephole video.

And his douchiness just gets that much more intense, since he just announced, in an interview with Spin magazine, that he’s launching a rap career.

How good of a rapper are you?
Incredible. I have the biggest mouth on earth, so why wouldn’t I be the best rapper — you know what I mean?

Can you freestyle right now?
I mean, everybody keeps on asking me to freestyle. But I always say, “Please, I don’t do freestyle, my goal out here is to get paid.” The word “free” does not exist in Spencer Pratt’s vocabulary. [via Spin.com]

Jesus Dead Baby Christ! This dude is completely out of hand. In fact, I’m starting to wonder if this guy isn’t just taking us all for a ride, Andy Kaufman-style.

I know, I know – he seems to barely have enough brain power to maintain basic bodily functions. But there is definitely more than meets the eye with this dude. And I would be ashamed of myself for being fooled by Spencer F’ing Pratt. Then again, he’s probably just learned to say outlandish sh*t in order to stay relevant. Either way, he’s still a douchebag.

Many of you are graduating soon and heading into the workforce to join the rat race and make some money.  What you may fail to realize is that there are loads of other equally qualified (if not more qualified) candidates hunting for the very same job.  You are going to need an edge to make you more recognizable.  We’ll start with your resume.  Try out a few of these pointers to enhance you stock. (more…)

I work in a sh*t-hole on the verge of bankruptcy, and I love it. I’m currently employed by a locally owned sandwich shop/late night drunk food emporium. If it’s 2:30 in the morning, you’re hammered and you need a hot dog that’s been warming on rollers for three hours we’ve got you covered. I make just above minimum wage, but for the work I do it’s almost robbery. Almost.

There’s nothing better than a summer job that requires no real thought, almost no work, and a boss who smokes a lot of pot. For the past three summers, I’ve worked for the maintenance division of a national park. It was a lot of physical work outdoors. I made great money, but I had to do a lot of work. This summer I make almost no money, but I don’t have to do anything. And as sad as it is, I actually prefer making and doing nothing. As a bonus I work with a bunch of college drop-outs and stoners who’ve never had real jobs and complain about what little we’re expected to do. Since I don’t complain, and work whenever it’s necessary, I look great. My boss absolutely loves me. (more…)

For all you recent college graduates entering the workforce, I realize that “Start Thinking About Your Savings” might be the lamest piece of advice uttered to you since, “Wow! There Is No Way You’re OK To Drive Right Now”. But I promise you, in both instances you’ll be very happy in the pants that you heeded both warnings.

First off, let’s take a little look-see at the financial future of our country. The way things are going, the idea of ‘Social Security benefits’ will be non-existent in the year 2041. Whoopsies! Therefore, if you’re 21 years-old right now, you’ll be royally screwed with a good few years to go before retirement age.

With medical advancements going the way they are, Super-Future-Year-2041-Viagra will be alarmingly good. And hot cougar retirees will be friskier and hotter than ever. Better have a little something put aside, if you want a piece of that ‘retired and ready to bang’ tail.

But forget about that for a second (if the imagery isn’t permanently burned into your brain already). The real point here is how saving just a little now, as I’ll demonstrate, gets you a lot more in the long run.

Check out the full article at Wall $treet Fighter

Just graduated? Entering the job market?

After the jump check out the starting salaries for entry level employees in various industries. (more…)

Recently, I found myself strapped for cash and needed a way to supplement my income. Like most people, I gave plasma until I had trouble tapping my bean without getting lightheaded. Not sure what to do next, I saw an ad in the paper for a job that seemed perfect…nude model.

I am not a hottie by any stretch of the imagination, but I didn’t think I was gross either. WTF! I decided to try nude modeling! The gigs were usually just a few hours, and they paid well above minimum wage. Why not?

I called a few local college art departments. ‘There’s a shortage of nude models,’ I was told. So, career advice Number 1: find an in-demand job. As a bonus, there’s no interview necessary – so stage fright isn’t much of an issue THERE. But the nudity-thing is a great deterrent for any competition.

During my first class, things started out fine. I walked in, disrobed, ignored the goosebumps forming on my skin (note to profs: turn up the heat – my nips were so hard I cut through the tension) and walked on to a platform in the center of the room as the professor gave me instructions for my first pose. It was pretty simple: I just had to sit still for twenty minutes. I could do that, right? (more…)

When I came to college, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my future. So, being young and naïve I decided to major in English. My thought process: an English degree can get me into any grad program and basically get me any job I would ever want.

Turns out, I made a big (HUGE) mistake.

According to recent stats by some important people at the Wall Street Journal, a major in liberal arts is…well, worthless.

OK, maybe not worthless, but definitely not nearly as valuable as majoring something a little more 21st century. Just check out these stats for first year earnings in various fields:

Accounting: $46,000
Consulting: $47,000
Aerospace: $54,000
Engineering: $49,000
Retail: $34,000
Education: $30,000
Journalism: $23,000

Depressing, right? Well, it doesn’t have to be. (more…)

Brett Favre is as American as Apple Pie. That’s why hearing he won the 2007’s Sportsman of the Year Award brings a tear of joy to my eye.

For years Favre has been the epitome of an American hero. A hard-working southern boy who hasn’t missed a day of work since the mid-90’s – and at age 38, in the twilight of his career, is “having one of the finest seasons of his stellar career.”

Not only does Favre bring class to the field, but he brings it off the field as well.

While his QB peers Peyton Manning and Tom Brady commercially pimp themselves to the highest bidder (and hook up with foreign supermodels who refuse to get paid in American currency in one case), Brett Favre keeps a low profile. He films low-budget commercials for local mom and pop businesses and is married to New York Times Best Selling author, Deanna Favre. (more…)

What do you get when you mix a bleached midwestern queen screaming under his bedsheet, with a monotonous, bouncing, electric piano line?

A whole lot of pain – chocolate pain. Here is our rendition of the newest YouTube crazy, Chris Crocker ranting over Tay Zonday’s viral classic, “Chocolate Rainâ€?.

The end result ain’t pretty. We apologize in advance.

I have had many an internship, so I know a sweet deal when I see one. And Trevor, the Mentos intern, has just about the best gig one can procure.Trevor’s “internlyâ€? duties don’t consist of mailing packages, running errands, getting coffee or database entry but rather whatever the public demands.

Yes, you too can tell Trevor what to do. And then watch him do it. Feel like doing a little bit of mid-day office yoga? Become a yogini along with Trevor every day at one. Bored and feel like chatting? Call Trevor up, his phone number and email are on the website. (more…)