When it pertains to losing that precious V-card (which ranks closely behind your ATM, SSN, Driver’s license, and Sam’s Card) two question’s always come up: who was it and how old were you. If your girl had a weird name, questionable hygiene, or was just flat out sketchy, she’ll be blamed for all your sexual issues for the rest of your life.

Admit it, perv: from the age of 13 and on, you’ve banged just about everywhere you can think of, from a backyard to a boiler room on the SS Titanic. Not all sex hideaways are created equal, and some supposedly hot spots are actually pretty inconvenient and illogical. Here are five places you don’t actually want to knock boots in.

Nothing says “I love you” like a sweat-stained, back-scratched, toe-curled, romp in your Dad’s Hummer. There is no denying that sex in any public place poses it’s problems for the randy philanderer. Worry no more, we offer you the following rules for making sure that your next Ford Fusion doesn’t crash and burn.

Today’s Topic: In the Front Seat
“Getting in Position: Depending on the amount of head and leg room in your car, and whether it is a standard or automatic transmission (stick shift or not), it may be difficult for one partner to climb across the front seat to the other side of the car. In these cases, one person may actually have to get out of the car and enter… Click to read more

Today’s Topic: While Driving
“NOTE: These illustrations were performed by professional cartoon stunt drivers on a closed course. These positions are unsafe at any speed. We can’t advocate engaging in sex acts while operating a moving vehicle.”

Sit on My Lap

“Let her do the driving. You may need to move the seat back or adjust the s… Click to read more