Wow, guys, it’s amazing! Michael Jackson’s alive!… in the body of a white guy. I know, I know, he’s not quite the dancer that Michael once was. But that’s to be expected. See, this is an actual white guy, with with guy dancing skills, whereas before Micheal Jackson’s death (and reincarnation), he just looked like a white dude, but danced with the feet of a black guy.

In general, the world is a horribly hard, unfair place. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer, and everybody’s pretty much pissed off all the time. But every so often, the stars align perfectly, and that douchebag who parked his Porsche illegally in the bust lane gets rammed. God, that must have felt good…