“Virgins. I love ‘em. No diseases, no loose as a goose V-jay, no skank. No nothin. Just pure pleasure.”

Thus begins Larry Clark’s 1995 film Kids, in which the main character, Telly, is a cherry popping fiend. From this movie to the Virgin Mary to (most recently) Natalie Dylan, virgins have been endlessly idolized throughout history, not only as symbols of purity and innocence, but as things that are also awesome to put your d*ck in. And for some of the reasons outlined by Telly, this idolization makes a bit of sense. Sure, they don’t have diseases, and yeah, their vaginas are tight. But the ‘pleasure’ aspect of that laundry list? Hardly! F*cking virgins is way more headache than its worth and than it has EVER been made out to be. Here are the five worst things about deflowering a virgin. (more…)

Jesus F**king Christ! This Natalie Dylan selling her virginity thing is getting way, way, way out of hand. Since first announcing last September that she would be auctioning off her virginity at Nevada’s Bunny Ranch, over 10,000 men have put in bids for a chance to pop her golden cherry. No surprise there. But now the price has skyrocketed to more than $3.7 million! Let me repeat that: $3.7 million dollars to have sex with a virgin, once.  (more…)