If I was to ask you what country is known for their butts, what would your guess be? Nevermind, I’ll tell you. Brazil, hands down. Now what if I was to tell you that there was a competition for (wait for it) the best butt in Brazil? Would that be something you might be interested in? Yeah, I thought so. Well it’s called the Miss BumBum Brazil pageant, and (in the same light that the NBA’s MVP can consider themselves the world’s best basketball player) the winner is officially the most a**tastic woman in the world. You can check out all the competitors in all their onion-booty glory after the jump.

In this corner, weighing 100 pounds and a fifth of liquor, wearing no shirt and what look to be track pants, known for beating his wife for not having made dinner on time, we haaave Old Senile Alcoholic! And in this corner, with a combined weight of 80 pounds minus the feces they’ve probably already thrown, wearing nothing, we haave Two Monkeys That Seem Extremely Pissed Off Who Can’t Wait to Use Their Sharp Teeth And Claws. You get one guess as to who wins this one, fight after the jump!

Garota Verao (translation: “Summer Girl”) is the annual beauty contest held every summer in Rio Grande do Sul and Santa Catarina. Past winners have gone on to become Miss Brazil, Miss Universe, or Miss Earth, so you know the talent is Grade A. Hey, if you can put up with the random muggings at knifepoint and hookers harassing you for dough at clubs, we highly suggest moving to Brazil. In the meantime, take a look at pics from the pageant after the jump.

This 27 year old Brazilian model known for her work with Guess?, Victoria’s Secret, and Chanel has appeared in Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue 7 times. She was named one of FHM’s “100 Sexiest Women in the World” in 2006 and appears in the 2010 Pirelli Calendar photographed by Terry Richardson. Recently, pics from her photo shoot for Italy’s Jack magazine hit the ‘net and though all her features are superhuman hot, we can’t get enough of her Beatrizzling Barreasts. That’s why we’ve put together this tribute that will have you taking a stroll down mammary lane.

With Fast Five racing into theaters on Friday, it’s important to note just how flabbergasted we are that the franchise has made it this far. It’s truly a testament to how INSANE tuners and modheads are. We think they do it for the chicks. Grid Girls love the thrill of street racing at high speeds. Probably the hottest of all grid girls are the Brazilians. Grid girls have great glutes and Brazilians are known for their butts, so you can imagine how tight the Brazilian Grid Girls are. Actually, don’t imagine, just check out our photo gallery after the jump!

Previously, we showed you what women will do for beads (hint: it involves nipples). Today, we focus our attention on a different part of the body to celebrate Mardi Gras and Carnival – the butt. Since we’re finally at the tail end of the sinning season, what would be more appropriate than fawning over the very finest of fannies from Brazil and Rio de Janeiro? To celebrate, we’ve pulled together a plethora of pics featuring robust rumps from the fleshy festivities. They’ll have you singing, “Back that ass up!” See the pics after the jump!

Throughout all this Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue madness, we tend to lose sight of the newcomers, the rookies, the n00bz who are poised to become the next big things in swimsuit wearing. So, with everyone drooling over Irina and some of the other vets (and rightfully so), we decided to shine the spotlight on the 8 women competing for a spot in the 2012 issue in SI’s Model Search : Catrinel Menghia, Elena Baguci, Elisandra Tomacheski, Tamiris Souza Freitas, Kasia Gogolkiewicz, Jessica Perez, and Jasmine Tookes.

Today’s WTF news items feature a lovable floatation device used by a couple of teens in Australia, a Brazilian man who probably has a greater appreciation for Ryan Reynolds’ film “Buried”, and a Greek monk who’s finally getting around to taking care of that quasi-saint that died four years ago. Read more after the jump!

Four teams now stand poised on the brink of World Cup glory: Spain, Germany, Holland, and Uruguay. Winning the ultimate prize in world football would represent something magnificent for each of those countries, but with varying degrees of breathless wonder.
Urugay vs. Netherlands, July 6.
Germany vs. Spain, July 7.
Germany (as West Germany) has won the Wo… Click to read more

• The celebrity threesomes we want to see

• Just another insanely sexy Brazilian actress

• The 9 friends you always avoid

• Women + poker = awesome

• Stars on the beach

• Wonder Woman Gets a Sexy Makeover

• Seriously? Pull it together man.

It takes more than god, cocaine, and undetected handballs to win a World Cup, at least in 2010. The young, ruthlessly efficient German team delivered a wholesale beatdown to Diego Maradona’s Argentina, and exposed the self-besotted leprechaun as a complete clown. It may be true that Maradona practically won the 1986 World Cup singlehandedly, as a m… Click to read more

Two things we learned, at least, from the Holland vs. Brazil match today, is that Jesus hates Brazil, and it’s always important to stay Melo. Brazil’s Kaka is the world’s most expensive striker and was expected to be one of the stars of this World Cup. Known for praying on the pitch after the 2002 World Cup win, and for revealing messages like “I belong to Jesus” on his t-shirts beneath his team jersey after scoring, apparently Jesus’ infatuation with Brazilian soccer is at an end.

Well Brazil took a beatdown today in the World Cup quarterfinals when the Netherlands surprised everyone with a 2-1 upset over the tourney’s favorite . But we’re willing to give the number one team a second chance to prove that they’re the true winners by putting their sexiest models up against the Netherlands’ sexiest models. And while the competition is going to get intense, we’re pretty sure this showdown will make up for the upset today.

Color us shocked because we’re absolutely amazed that the number one soccer team in the world, Brazil, just lost in the quarter finals. Not only were their players insanely good, but they’re sexy soccer underboob photos blew us away. I mean we were rooting for them before there were even 168 booty-ful reasons to root for Brazil.

Still laying in bed in a drunken stupor over the fact that the US Team didn’t pull a 1980s Miracle? Well cheer up because even though we’re out of the World Cup doesn’t mean that we’re out of amazing photos of sexy superfans. So show your true American colors by spending your Monday at work checking out hot chicks.