Somehow, some way, somebody sneaked a video camera into a screening for the much anticipated Dark Knight, scheduled for release on July 18th, in both regular theaters and IMAX. The quality is about as good as buying a bootleg copy from a dude in Chinatown, but for all of you who can’t wait (i.e., all of you), here’s the first five minutes of Dark Knight!

Check out the first five minutes of Dark Knight here!

Hmmm…where do I begin to explain the premise of 9 Doors?

Players control a semi-animated stick figure – and when I say semi-animated I mean intentionally bootleg for comedic purposes; think “End of the World”. Anyways, there are nine doors. One door leads to yayness and the rest lead to death.

Simply start by choosing doors. Pick a death door and your stick figure will die a hilarious death like getting stabbed by five javelins, getting his head squished by an enormous machine or getting injected with an AIDS needle.

Play 9 Doors tonight when you are hammered and the bootleg simplicity of the whole thing will keep you clicking for a good 20 minutes.

A stret neer Northwod Elemantarie skool in Kalamamamazoo, Michegane haez the werd “school” misspelld on the pavment. Idiots. (Seattle Pi)

Cocksox: the new speedo, but much worse. (Cocksox.com)

Blender’s “Top 10 NFL Stadium Anthems That Must Be Retired.” (Blender)

Paris Hilton sues Hallmark for using her likeness on a card. That’s hot. (TMZ)

Nude photos of Vanessa Hudgens get her booted from Disney, High School Musical 3. In other news: Zac Efron is still under contract, therefore still in the closet. (Post Chronicle)

Bin-Laden bootleg video in the hands of U.S. authorities; surpasses Kanye West’s Graduation as biggest leak of the month. (MSNBC)