We’re past this whole “Was the Balloon Boys story a hoax” nonsense. Obviously, it’s all bullsh*t. And if you think it might not be bullsh*t, all you have to do is watch this video of the father releasing the g*ddamn balloon to know that it’s a hoax. Now that we have that resolved, let’s move on to bigger things: Who’s going to play who in inevitable upcoming Hollywood biopic…

After discovering that the “Balloon Boy,” who was allegedly floating around at around 7000 feet in a giant, homemade helium contraption, was actually just hiding in the garage, the news shows went crazy booking the whole family for an interview. But during this segment with Wolf Blitzer, the boy, Falcon (really, that’s his name) admits that “We did this for the show.”