November is Child Safety & Protection Month. I’m constantly amazed at how many straight awful parents there are out there. It leads me to think we should definitely have a test you should pass to have kids. You have to take a test to drive a 3,000 lb weapon that could potentially kill others, and adopting parents have to pass all kinds of tests to take on a kid, so why not birth parents. Yeah, it’s totally sci-fi totalitarianism but I don’t care. I don’t want to see any more of what you’re about to see in our humongous gallery of parenting fails.

As 2009 comes to a close, we want to take a moment to thank the hard working men and women of Child Protective Services… lord knows you’ve had one helluva busy year. From the morally bankrupt parents of the infamous balloon boy to the fame whoring Jon and Kate parents of 8, 2009 has been a stellar year for the bad parent and a monumental year for the bad celebrity mom and dad.

• You Are a Crappy Parent

• 25 Shopped Mona Lisa Portraits

• Hot Asian

• Steven Tyler Not Leaving Aerosmith

• Weird Al Yankovic Explains Auto-Tune

• How Hot Is Joanna Page?

• Creeper Alert!