Drunk dialing will only get you in trouble, no doubt about it. I’ve never heard of a positive drunk dialing experience, and that’s because there is no such thing.

I always drunk-dial people and leave these embarrassing messages. Sometimes I call my ex-girlfriend and have an emo breakdown about how much I miss her. I always wake up the next morning and feel appalled by my call log from the night before. I can’t just leave behind my cell phone when I go out at night, but I need to stop doing this! My friends think it’s hilarious. But what to do?

Good news! Though it’s not available yet in the United States, Virgin Mobile, at some point, will begin offering a service that allows cell phone users to block themselves from dialing numbers late at night. Cost of blocking call to ex-girlfriend at 2 a.m.? Seventeen cents. Cost of blocking call to your boss or professor? Priceless. (Well, it’s 17 cents. But you get the idea.)

With my phone blocked I’ll have to explore the danger of drunk Facebooking or even drunk texting. It’s never-ending, this need to reveal all my feelings to anybody who answers their phone.

I’m a progressive girl. I’m all about equality.But give me my own bathroom.

Co-ed bathrooms are one of college’s biggest mysteries. Who thought it would be a good idea? Who decided that it would be totally cool to completely devoid college kids of any type of privacy? Did none of the inventors of co-ed bathrooms ever have a crush?

And if they did, how could they fathom perhaps bumping into that crash while they still had pimple stuff on their face and crow’s nest on top of their head?

I just don’t understand it. The bathroom is sacred. Private. It’s not a place I want to discuss homework or chat about the newest TV show.

I don’t want to step out of the shower and come face to face with the captain of the lacrosse team. I don’t need that sort of horrible awkwardness in my life. (more…)