As a man, one of the primary goals of each and every day is keeping fire and sharp objects as far away from my crotch as possible. And at the top of that list of sharp objects is the Doberman Pincher. Unfortunately, when you have an a$$hole dad with a laser pointer, that task becomes infinitely more difficult.

If you didn’t know a Gnu is something of a wildebeest. And apparently sometimes, they lose their F’ing minds and start attacking packs of rhinos for no apparent reason. Not only does he attack them once, but he gets his ass tossed in the air, then goes back for more. That’s called having enormous balls.

I’m not exactly sure what kind of tumor you have to develop in your brain to make chaining up a bear to a shed seem like a perfectly reasonable idea. But it looks as though the bear is trying to help this woman by getting it out for her…

Last night, my friend Jane told me the craziest f**king sh*t I’ve ever heard. In fact, I doubt what I’m about to tell you has ever happened before in all of history. But I must say, this story’s not for the feint of heart. So unless you think incredibly horrible things happening to super dumbasses is gut-bustingly hilarious, I’d recommend you stop reading right now. Otherwise, your mind is about to be blown. (more…)