Bronx Mowgli Wentz Tormented Identity Fund

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First of all, congratulations to Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson who just had their first baby boy. That’s great…Just a couple quick questions – are you people f**king retarded? You named him Bronx Mowgli Wentz? Really? What, did you pick it while huffing spray paint?

The sad thing is, you probably spent hours, days – nay – months trying to choose the perfect name before you decided on this gem. But here’s the thing – by the time Bronx Mowgli…ugh…(sorry, I just puked a little in my mouth) is old enough to go to school, Fall Out Boy will be nothing but a distant memory and the name Ashlee Simpson isn’t exactly going to be opening any doors. (more…)

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Confirmed: Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson Engaged

Ashley Simpson engaged

First there were rumors that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz of “Fall Out Boy” got “his and hers nose jobs” and although there is no proof I wouldn’t put it past them. Then the rumors were flying that Simpson was knocked up. If this were true I’d petition for a court ordered paternity test cause I’m still convinced Wentz is a homo. Getting back to the point the latest rumor from the ultimate musical sell-out faux emo power couple is they are to be hitched in spring of 2008. $50 says Pete Wentz hyphenates his last name… Pete Wentz-Simpson. (more…)