With Plaxico Burress having just been sentenced to two years in jail for possessing and discharging a firearm in a public space, we are reminded that these masters of the field and the court are just people, too. They make mistakes, and have to pay for them. However, sometimes the mistakes they make are so hilariously idiotic, we can’t help but make fun of them. Here are the 12 Dumbest Convicted Athletes. (more…)

• ShamWow! Guy Arrested for Beating a Hooker

• Yo Dawg, I Herd U Liek Goatse Cake

• Shawn Johnson: Hayden Panettiere’s Lost Cousin?

• April Fool’s Day Montage

• Mr. Rogers Is Terrifying

• Marisa Miller On a Hog

Division of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco agents arrested 46 underage drinkers at new Years Weekend football games in South Florida.

ABT agents arrested 26 people for possession of alcoholic beverages by an underage person and one for a fugitive warrant at the Orange Bowl Classic on New Year’s Day. [CBS4]

Yale Hires First Black Football Coach

Tom Williams, a defensive assistant coach with the Jacksonville Jaguars, will be the next football coach at Yale.

Williams, 39, will replace Jack Siedlecki, who retired after 12 seasons and took a job as an associate athletic director with the school. Williams will be the first black football coach at Yale and the second in Ivy League history. [Courant]

5 Ways to Spend Slightly Less On Textbooks

It’s no secret that the price of college textbooks is outrageous. It’s basically just your arm, your leg, and a down payment on your firstborn these days.

I went to the bookstore yesterday to pick up books for second semester and decided to buy only half; while I’ll certainly go back and buy the books I can’t find other places, it’s hard to justify spending $500.00 on textbooks. [Examiner]

Last night golf’s bad boy John Daly was found outside a North Carolina Hooters drunk and unconscious.

Winston-Salem police and paramedics tended to Daly but he but was considered uncooperative to their assistance. The drunk and disorderly d-bag was hauled off to the clink to sober up and was released without an arrest record or any pending charges.  Must be nice.

Daly’s booze and gambling vices have destroyed his once promising golf career, but he still remains one one of COED’s favorite Drunken Athletes. And although we can’t quite comprehend how a pro-boozer like Daly could get himself so jacked up on sauce at a Hooters, we can absolutely appreciate why he was there… for the wings of course. As if there was any other reason to go to Hooters???

(Click the thumbnails to see the full sized images)

After wrecking some sh*t in his giant truck, getting arrested, then bailed out (by Dana White), claiming that he was God and being admitted to a hospital for observation, former UFC Light Heavyweight Champ Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson is apparently back to what equates to normal.

He was seen walking around Minneapolis during the pre-fight preparations for UFC 87, accompanied by Dana White, and he spoke at a press conference for the event.

Apparently Dana is Quinton’s new security, at least until the UFC can be sure that he’s not the crazy dude he was acting like a few weeks ago. Jackson can be seen in several of Dana White’s UFC 87 video blogs.

Everyone at COED is pleased to hear that ‘Page is healthy both mentally and physically, but his time in the spotlight of bad fortune may not be over just yet. Apparently when Rampage went on his, well, rampage, he may or may not have caused the miscarriage of a Huntington Beach, CA resident’s unborn child. (Whoops!) (more…)

In the early nineties, Barenaked Ladies frontman Steven Page promised (in song no less) that he’d buy me and every other lady ever lots of frivolous and unnecessary items like a llama, Art Garfunkel and a monkey.

Looks like he forgot all about the little ditty that made his band famous and spent the money buying a ton of cocaine and marijuana. Page was arrested in New York last week for possession of a controlled substance.

The best part? When the cops showed up, Page and his female friend tried to hide the mound of coke under a napkin. I can’t believe that didn’t work! That’s how I hid a quarter pound of parmesan cheese when I spilled it at Pizza Hut 10-years ago. I guess the Syracuse PD are a little more thorough than the hapless staff at my local “Italian bistro.”

The news of this arrest is disappointing but not exactly surprising. Despite putting out a very good last effort and a popular kids album, Barenaked Ladies have been trying to run away from irrelevancy since “Pinch Me.” It looks like it finally caught up to them. (more…)

I’d like to say ‘this seems fake,’ but these days even the most ridiculous bullshit is turning out to be real. In Fort Bend, Texas, a Chinese student was arrested and expelled from school for designing a Counter-Strike map based on his school’s layout. Designing the map (check it out here) was seen as a ‘terrorist threat’.

The police searched his room and discovered a hammer, which the boy had used to fix his bed. The hammer was confiscated, and police continued to search for the deadly ‘hammer training simulator’ the boy had probably designed to turn the household tool into a deadly weapon of unimaginable power. (more…)

In today’s “this is some serious bullsh*t” category, seven audience members were arrested this week, at two separate high school graduations in South Carolina, for cheering. No, they weren’t drunk or crazy, and calling out expletives during the valedictorian speech–one dude was just calling out his cousin’s name.

From MSNBC.com:

Six people at Fort Mill High School’s graduation were charged Saturday and a seventh at the graduation for York Comprehensive High School was charged Friday with disorderly conduct, authorities said. Police said the seven yelled after students’ names were called. (more…)

Kumari Fulbright, a UA law student and former beauty queen, kidnapped her ex-boyfriend and held him captive for 10 hours, tied and bound.

If this all sounds a bit kinky now, it won’t when you hear about the three dudes who assisted Fulbright in the kidnapping, robbing and torturing of her ex.

Fulbright and the three men held her ex hostage at two different locations, alternating between the North Side and Midtown Tuscon, Arizona. Wielding pistols, all four kidnappers stole cash and valuables from the guy while threatening to kill him.

Fulbright in particular went as far as to bite her ex several times (violently, mind you), holding a butcher knife up to his ear.

After 8 to 10 hours of being hostage, the ex was able to snatch Fulbright’s gun from her, sending off both a shot and the victim to authorities.

Fulbright and her accomplices are currently facing charges of kidnapping, armed robbery, aggravated robbery and two counts of aggravated assault.

For me, the most insane part of this story is that Kumari Fulbright used to model. Are models thin on the ground in Tuscon Michigan? Her face is wicked. Tranny, anyone?

As if the media hasn’t spent enough time ravaging the metaphorical colon of people across the internet and TV, we arrive at the next stage in celebrity gossip evolution (or Creative Design if you are from Kansas)…the legal battle.

So here it is: Casey Aldridge, a.k.a. Little Spears’ Babby-daddy, is either 17, 18 or 19. Unfortunately, white trash don’t keep good records and for some reason there is a some discussion as to how old he is.

People are looking at Casey’s MySpace page, which has him at 17; his old school records that have him at 19. However, the latter records come from his Principal, who is trying to hold the school yearbooks to make extra money. It’s about as trustworthy as the Mitchell Report.

My roommate is pre-law, so here is the $.50 tour:

- If he is 17, he is just another genius who knocked up a Spears girl and won the “K-Fed Lottery”

- If he is 18, there are some state statutes that would allow for a 2 year differentiation between consent and statutory rape

- If he is 19, he is f**ked (more…)