I get pure joy out of seeing people getting flustered and pissed off. In some evil way their stress makes me feel better about myself.

After trying everything from cranking up the absolute worst dancehall music in the car to ripping horrendous ass in the elevator I’ve decided it’s time to update my Rolodex of annoying antics.

Here are 17 new ways to piss people off:

1. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”

2. Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”

3. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

4. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”

5. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”

6. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. (more…)

Everybody likes sex.

Unless it’s sex you’re not involved in, coming from the bed on the other side of the room. At 3 A.M. When you’ve got a test in 5 hours.

One of the most annoying (and sometimes, horrifying) aspects of going to college is the roommate’s not-so-silent sex fest.

It happens to almost everyone; you don’t know your roommate that well, she brings someone back to the room, you pretend you’re asleep, and the newly formed partnership proceeds to take full advantage of the condoms from the bathroom condom basket.

For a first time sex-fest listener, it can be a scarring occurrence. You want to speak up, but you also don’t, you want desperately to fall asleep, but it’s impossible due to the loud noises coming from across the room.

Here are some tips to keep you from waking up in the middle of the night in horror.
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