COED contributor Liz Kinkopf has gift ideas for each category of girl in your life: the Booty Call / Friend With Benefits, Girlfriend of 6 Months or Less, Girlfriend of 1 Year, and Long Time Girlfriend. If you have girls in each category, we’d like to give YOU an award… and maybe a life insurance policy.

We’re not big spenders here at COED. We’d much prefer to save a little dough so we can indulge our nasty habits: booze, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll, sex, etc. That’s why we’re huge advocates of homegrown and homemade items, especially when it comes to one of the world’s biggest cash crops: cannabis. Previously, we showed you 88 Badsass MacGyver Bongs, which lead you to ask, “How do you make that?” Ask no further, we’ve got what you need. We’re your pusher-man.

Many of you are graduating soon and heading into the workforce to join the rat race and make some money. What you may fail to realize is that there are loads of other equally qualified (if not more qualified) candidates hunting for the very same job. You are going to need an edge to make you more recognizable. We’ll start with your resume. Try out a few of these pointers to enhance you stock.

We’ve all seen him at some point in our life. He’s the dude wearing a jersey at the theater, a Falcons Vick jersey in Philly, or an Ed hardy shirt anywhere. You should never look like a tool just to show your support of your sport, team, or fighter. No one wants to be that guy. Don’t lose hope; you can still rep your favorite sport in style. Here are 5 MMA brands you can wear without looking like a tool.

Watching football – involuntarily – with the boyfriend, I found myself bombarded by beer commercials. Given that I don’t drink beer (real women drink tequila, straight), I wasn’t interested in actual brands. No, I found myself more transfixed by the appearance of the women. Scratch that, the appearance of couples. Not only were these average guys hanging out with unbelievably attractive supermodel types in the ads, they were married to them.

If you don’t know COED’s little sister, CollegeCandy.com, you might want to take a look. They have tons of interesting articles from the college girl perspective that are actually pretty cool. But this time, they’ve f**ked up. In this week’s “Weigh In” column, they’ve decided to give “advice to dudes,” with input from their writers, editors and readers – which, I have to admit, annoys the sh*t out of me. Here are a few examples:

As men, we rarely know what women are thinking, at all. And when it comes to sex we are even more in the dark. Of course, it doesn’t help that the female mind is constantly calculating, trying to figure out the “right” thing to say, no matter what it does for your relationship. So to take the bag off your head, here are five things your girlfriend might say that should throw up some serious red flags.

You have gone on awkward dates. You have tried to meet girls on the internet. You have even read books and blogs about how to get laid but you are still living a very sexless life. But forget all that nonsense. There are four very simple reasons the farthest you have ever gone is with your right hand.

Let’s face it, dudes cheat. We cheat a lot. And no matter the pain, frustration or STD transmissions it causes, there’s not much anyone can do about it. It’s in a man’s nature to hook up with as many women in his lifetime as possible. Life is always easier when you aren’t constantly trying to cover your lying tracks. But since you’re probably going to cheat anyway, here are a few tactics that ensure you get away with it.

Hi. It’s me, Man. How are things? Probably not so good — that’s been the general gist of human history, best I can tell from every conversation your and my kind have matched wits for during the last few hundred thousand years. Am I right? You won’t admit it, but I knew it. I’m not dumb; I figure it’s something we stupid men did. So instead of fighting, I’m just gonna lay a few things out for you, on behalf of every other man that ever existed.

I’m not dumb; I figure it’s something or other we stupid men did. So on behalf of all other men everywhere, here’s a list of ten things we just gotta tell you. I’m sure you won’t listen, but you’re always saying I never want to talk, so here goes nothing.

I hate to admit, but women have all the power in a relationship. The problem is that more often than not women do not just want to do it just because we do. However, and lucky for us, there are things that can alert us to when they might be in the mood as well.

• Awesome advice from Tracy Morgan

• The Hottest Wags

• Michelle Hunziker wearing nothing but a bikini

• How to seduce woman

• Great moments in Celeb butt scratching history

• Conan is officially going to TBS

• Man hides in a keg of beer

In case you get the wrong idea, this isn’t going to be one of those articles that tells you in disturbing detail how to find my G-spot or give me multiple orgasms. My goal here is to help you out with the other aspects of sex; minor details guys often dismiss as being unimportant and girls see as lavish, extended foreplay.

Don’t get me wrong – being young and having fun is as important as anything in life. But assuming you live past the age of 28, there are a few things that you just can’t get away with, without reaping some serious consequences. Here are the top 10 things you do when you’re young that, when looking back, make you wonder how you could have been such a complete and total dumbass. (Image used courtesy of The Lizard Man)

Dating is hard. Just when you think you have women figured out they throw you a curve ball, even adult film stars. Sure everyone thinks porn stars are easy, what with all the money shots. The truth is, they have standards. To learn these standards we talked to the star of COED favorite, “Strap a D**k to Me” and proprietor of Leggylana.com, Lana Cox for advice on how to woo the women of our late night fantasies.