As men, we rarely know what women are thinking, at all. And when it comes to sex we are even more in the dark. Of course, it doesn’t help that the female mind is constantly calculating, trying to figure out the “right” thing to say, no matter what it does for your relationship. So to take the bag off your head, here are five things your girlfriend might say that should throw up some serious red flags. (more…)

You have gone on awkward dates. You have tried to meet girls on the internet. You have even read books and blogs about how to get laid but you are still living a very sexless life. But forget all that nonsense. There are four very simple reasons the farthest you have ever gone is with your right hand. (more…)

Dating is hard. Just when you think you have women figured out they throw you a curve ball, even adult film stars. Sure everyone thinks porn stars are easy, what with all the money shots. The truth is, they have standards. To learn these standards we talked to the star of COED favorite, “Strap a D**k to Me” and proprietor of Leggylana.com, Lana Cox for advice on how to woo the women of our late night fantasies. (more…)

If you don’t know COED’s little sister, CollegeCandy.com, you might want to take a look. They have tons of interesting articles from the college girl perspective that are actually pretty cool. But this time, they’ve f**ked up. In this week’s “Weigh In” column, they’ve decided to give “advice to dudes,” with input from their writers, editors and readers – which, I have to admit, annoys the sh*t out of me. (more…)

Don’t get me wrong – being young and having fun is as important as anything in life. But assuming you live past the age of 28, there are a few things that you just can’t get away with, without reaping some serious consequences. Here are  the top 10 things you do when you’re young that, when looking back, make you wonder how you could have been such a complete and total dumbass.  (Image used courtesy of The Lizard Man) (more…)

I go to the public library sometimes to use the free Internet. So does a guy that likes to watch porn. There I am, checking my email and whatnot, when all of a sudden I glance over to a face full of ass and balls. It doesn’t really bother me – I visit PrettyFatAndNaked.com all the time. However, unlike this guy, I have a healthy amount of shame that prohibits me from doing so in public. If you’re a normal guy like me (and I use the term loosely), you don’t like people finding out about your porn habits.

Unlike some of my friends, I’ve never been caught with my pants down. They claim I’m lucky, but luck has nothing to do with. I have system, and after you read this article, you will too. Here’s how to watch Internet porn and not get caught: (more…)

Does the thought of asking a girl out on a date make you sweat in a non-sexual related way? If so, you are likely a coward. Don’t take it personally; the sad fact is that most of us guys are incredibly awkward when it comes to approaching girls (unless your name is Rico).

Luckily, with a little practice, know-how and confidence, even a gargoyle like Larry King can pick up a girl way out of our league (tip #1: money helps). Here are some more tips: (more…)

So let’s say your favorite movie is the Patrick Swayze vehicle,  Road House. It’s moved you so much that you now want to emulate zen-bouncer Dalton in real life and instill order at your favorite roughneck hot-spot. Well, I have been a bouncer. So here are some premiere bouncing tips.

1. Wear a tuxedo shirt and black bow tie, which would create a dichotomy that says I’m sophisticated enough to open a bottle of wine………. then beat you to death with it afterward…so don’t cause any trouble.

2. Stand in front of a velvet rope and memorize key phrases like:

“HAVE YOUR IDs OUT OR YOU’RE NOT GETTING IN!”

or

“SORRY GUYS I CAN’T LET YOU IN! LADIES RIGHT THIS WAY!”

For added effect, I’d throw in, “DON’T TOY WITH ME, I’M JUST NOT IN THE MOOD!”

3. The backbone to bouncing is checking IDs. Sure, it’s reading just a bunch of numbers off a plastic card. That’s why you should make a huge production out it.

Pull out a flashlight and hold it over my head, giving the impression you’ve been trained in special flashlight use not available to the general public.

No matter how old the patron looks, do the following: (more…)

This is not dating advice. This is getting laid advice. When you’ve done everything you need to do to get her back to your place and you just need that extra little bit to take it over the edge, this is where these lines come in.

Now, you might not believe these work – they seem too sneaky, too transparent and too stupid. But that says nothing of their surprising effectiveness. These magical lines should only be said while making out, not while you’re still at the bar. So read closely and take notes because if used properly, these five gems will get you laid. (more…)

Here at COED Magazine, we receive enormous amounts of fan mail every day. Some of it just says how awesome we are, while other letters beg for our help. We may not have all the answers, but we definitely have most of them, so listen up and you might learn a thing or two. The following are answers to a few common questions we have received in the past.

“We got a stripper at our frat tonight, and she accidentally got hit over the head with a tequila bottle. Now she’s unconscious on the floor. What should we do?” – Bruce, ASU

The first thing to do is take back all of those singles that you put in her G-string. She promised you an hour, and if she’s just lying there on the floor then she didn’t deliver.

After you’ve got your refund, wrap some gauze around the wound, and then make sure to wipe her finger prints off anything she’s touched, because we’ve all seen CSI. Carry her to the nearest bus stop and prop her up on the bench. Put a sign on her that says “Bring me home”. A nice homeless man will definitely come by and help her to her place of residence. (more…)