Too often in the entertainment industry, great talents are taken from this world before they have a chance for their careers to fully flourish. Unfortunately for others, the exact opposite happens – their careers got so big, they didn’t know when to quit. Not that they weren’t great in their day, but somewhere along the way, things took a turn for the worst. So instead of letting them continue to pollute the airwaves with over-confident garbage, we thought we’d give these 10 comedians a heads-up with The 10 Comedians Who Should’ve Bought the Farm Before Their Careers Did. (more…)

OK, everybody knows that Adam Sandler is hilarious – or at least he’s mostly hilarious.  In You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, he portrays an Israeli counter-terror specialist whose martial arts skills are second only to Chuck Norris.  Sandler winds up in New York City as a hairstylist – and hilarity ensues.  While the flick is pretty funny, you will love this movie for one reason: Emmanuelle Chriqui (from Entourage fame) – she looks awesome in this film.

This is a  very slow week in DVD releases – so check out some DVDs from last week, like Iron Man (which I have not seen but hear it is amazing).

Check out the rest of this Week’s DVD releases after the jump! (more…)

Throw comedy everyman Will Ferrell into a zany project that deals with the rise and fall of a lovable idiot and the outcome will be golden – that seems to be the thought process behind Semi-Pro, Ferrell’s first official bomb (even if it does well in theaters, which it will).

In Semi-Pro Will plays Jackie Moon, a loud-mouthed Lothario who owns, coaches and plays for the Flint Tropics, an absolutely terrible ABA basketball team on the verge of losing what little audience and respect they have. Luckily for Moon, the NBA wants to absorb a few teams from the ABA, giving his squad a chance to hit the big time. Of course, his ego gets in the way, trotting out lavish (on a budget) half time shows where the team dresses up in Seahorse and Flamingo costumes while getting down to “Love Sexy,” Moon’s disco excursion that gave him his one and only hit.

Going to any length to get his team some recognition, Moon makes a questionable trade involving an important team player (no spoilers here!) for Monix (Woody Harrelson), the Washed Up Legend Out to Prove His Worth. Let us not forget to mention Clarence ‘Coffee’ Black (Andre Benjamin) the Competent and Honest Basketball Player Out to Make His Mama Proud. The stereotypes run amok in Semi-Pro, but that’s expected. The problem here is the lack of original comedy. (more…)

Robin Williams

Back in the ’70s and ’80s, when Robin Williams did a lot of stand-up (and coke), he was one of the best in the business. His fast-talking, freak-the-hell-out kind of comedy was one of the most scorching acts on the scene. But since cranking out a long line of family-friendly crapfests like Mrs. Doubtfire and Patch Adams, Williams has become more like a giant flaming grizzly bear on meth than a comedian. So please, Robin, for the love of all that’s good in this world, stop screaming at us. We’re not laughing.

Robin Williams in his prime

Robin Williams past his time

Martin Lawrence

After being hand-picked for Russell Simmons’ Def Comedy Jam, Martin Lawrence quickly became one of the top comedians of the 90’s. His series, Martin had a good run from ‘92 to ‘97, featuring gut-busting characters, like Mama Payne and Sheneneh Jenkins. And his string of box office blockbusters are certainly impressive. But from 2000 on, Lawrence began spewing serious piles of crap like Black Knight and National Security. And no, Big Momma’s House doesn’t count – anyone can thrown on a fat suit and squeeze out a couple of laughs.

Martin Lawrence in his prime

Martin Lawrence past his time

Mike Myers

Mike Myers is arguably one of the funniest men of all-time. Most everything he did while on SNL is some form of comic genius, and Wayne’s World will forever have a special place in our hearts (right next to beer and side-boobs). And his Austin Powers franchise was surprisingly funny from start to finish. In fact, we don’t have many complaints. That is, until the vile, soul-sucking waste of time that is The Love Guru came to be. Seriously, this one is unforgivable. Sorry, Mike, you f**ked up.

Mike Myers in his prime

Mike Myers past his time

Andrew Dice Clay

One of the most offensively hilarious comedians of all-time, Andrew Dice Clay’s searing comedic genius was as good as it got for a couple of years. But instead of changing up his jokes as times changed, Dice just kept telling the same old schtick while getting fatter and balder by the minute. Then came his reality show Dice: Undisputed, which was supposed to be his relaunching pad, but instead revealed him to be the washed-up asshole he is.

Andrew Dice Clay in his prime

Andrew Dice Clay past his time

George Carlin

Ok, ok, settle down. We know pretty much everyone ever has a hard-on for the late George Carlin. But that doesn’t change the fact that after “Seven Dirty Words,” all Carlin did was a bunch of bit rolls and a lot of righteous complaining. We know, he did 14 stand-up specials and is considered one of the greatest comedians of all-time, but that’s mostly because anytime someone mentions that he might be anything less than Einstein and Richard Pryor rolled into one, his fans start screaming like little girls. In fact, we can already hear them now…

George Carlin in his prime

George Carlin past his time

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Warner Bros. development department is compiled mostly of wh*res.Why the harshness do you ask? Good question, and my answer is simple. Don’t f**k with perfection.

Did the Vatican say, “Ya know Benny, da’ta ceiling on’a da’ chapel sure is molte bene, but don’t you a’ wish we coulda’ redo it wit a little CGI? Lika’ da’ Matrix?” No they didn’t. In ‘72, did Shula say, “You know what guys, I know we are undefeated but I want to make sure everyone gets a chance to play – Go on third team! You’re in!” No he did not. Did Ron Jeremy say, “You know what, maybe I shouldn’t be the only 350 lb porn star with DD-man-boobs – Jenny Craig here I come!” Hells no, the Hedgehog did no such thing.

Why, pray tell, would anyone in their right mind agree to remake Enter the Dragon.

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