The blog-universe has been giving the seal of approval to Britney’s leaked songs since early this week – have I been listening to the wrong ones?

These tracks are complete tripe. There is no way somebody with working eardrums can possibly give a “thumbs-upâ€? to Brit’s latest batch of bimbo-pop.

Even hipsters looking for their next bastion of irony will be thoroughly disappointed.

The three songs – “Gimme More,â€? “Cold as Fire,â€? “Baby Boyâ€? – each have flat, lifeless production left over from the last millennium. This major mistake could’ve been easily remedied with the right collaborators (hint, hint).

Check out Britney Spears’ new tracks after the jump.

But the main problem here, the one that really grinds my gears, is that Spears’ “playsâ€? troubled. HELLO – you are troubled, Miss crotch-baring, kid-neglecting Spears. I’d much rather have a pissy, anti-prissy, realistic, shaved-head version of Brit-pop (no, not the genre) over this shiny, fluffy, “sassy” triptych of garbage.

It’s not even fair to call these tracks pitiful, considering a lot of jaded people are championing her return – she’s pitied enough.

She had a chance at pop-redemption recently with JT and a few years back with James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem. Everybody has been in Spears’ corner, patiently waiting for the pop vixen to bash K-Fed and prove herself more-than-capable of handling her career.

With her monthly paycheck of $737,868 you would think Spears could afford some ears.

“Gimme More”

“Cold as Fire”

“Baby Boy”