This goes out to Askmen.com, The New York Times, Stuff and others:

Stop putting out gift guides that no one other than Bill Gates nephew, Prince Harry or Mark Zuckerberg can afford. Not now and probably not ever will I be able to afford a $2,500 cashmere sweater by some Italian designer whose name I can’t even pronounce. Furthermore, quit it with the same generic gifts - give me some variety, people!

Minor kinks notwithstanding - it’s our first guide; be easy on us - COED Magazine presents our first annual holiday gift guide. Today’s deals are for the people shopping with a budget that want to leave an impact on the gift-receivers.

Feel free to leave links and info to products we forgot to list in the comment section. We will try our best to add them to tomorrow’s gift guide.

Check out the gift guide after the jump!

Lucid Absinthe

A New York company called Lucid has apparently finagled some way to make legal absinthe with barely traceable amounts of thujone, the chemical in traditional absinthe that inspires macabre dreams of dancing gargoyles and scary harpsichord music in your head. If you’ve never been abroad and tried absinthe Lucid should be #1 on your list.

http://www.drinklucid.com/

“CVS Pure-Digital” One Time Use Digi-Cam

Pure Digital is a $19.99 digital camera with a color preview screen and the ability to delete pictures, making it one of the world’s first true disposable digital cameras. I saw one in action this weekend; for 20 bucks you can’t lose. You can buy this camera at any CVS store in the US of A.

Altec Lansing Orbit MP3 360

These palm-sized, lightweight speakers are an ideal companion for iPods and/or MP3 players when you want a break from headphones. For a speaker system that runs on AA batteries I was shocked by how clear and exceptionally loud this beast is. In fact if you were to hold it to an infant’s ear that baby would go through life deaf in one ear.

http://alteclansing.com/

512MB USB Wristband Flash Drive (Black)

Wristband USB drives are the slap bracelet of the 21st century. Carry your data on your wrist (literally) and look fashionable at the same time! Sure, people will call you a nerd, but that’s ok - you have 512MB of memory on your wrist!

http://www.pacificgeek.com/

Dog Poop Calendar

It’s February 1st 2008. Time to flip the dog poop calendar. What do we have this month? Oh, it’s a dog taking a sh*t on the beach in front of kids. How precious!

http://www.prankplace.com/dogpoop.htm

Slacker Portable Radio Player

This is by far the best thing to happen to digital music in a long time, and my favorite item on the list. I listen to Slacker Radio for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week - the idea of listening to the radio service on the train or while walking the streets is amazing. catalog of over 2 million CD-quality songs, Over 100 professionally programmed radio stations, over 10,000 artist stations. This bundle of joy ships January 31, 2008. Pre-order one as a gift before it sells out!

http://www.slacker.com/products/portables/

Toytech Predator Paintball Blowpipe

Predator Paintball Blowpipe Repeater. For those of us who like to sneak up on our enemies and attack withouts guns. Just like McGuyver.

http://www.routeone.co.uk/ProductDetails.aspx

Gravity Vortex Water Pipe

The Gravity VORTEX is the world’s first portable gravity smoking device. It’s very easy to use, and even just fun to watch in action. As the water drains from the top chamber to the bottom, smoke is filtered by water in the top chamber. Clean, cool and smooth hits that won’t hurt your lungs. It is made of high quality poly carbonate, so its virtually indestructible.

http://gravityvortex.com/

Gillette Clinical Strength Antiperspirant

This one is for the dudes that sweat excessively. Thirty-five percent of guys consider themselves “heavy sweaters,” and 24% change their shirt when they detect underarm sloppiness. So that’s why you need this industrial strength deodorant. It was developed by doctors and there is nothing stronger on the market. Buy it anywhere you can pick up condoms and toothpaste.

http://www.gilletteclinicalstrength.com/index.html

Casey Parker DVDs and Web Membership

Casey Parker had this crazy idea to make a website about her life. So she went to the California coast a few months ago to have some adventures and do fun, exciting things (read: sex, sex, sex). COED would like to welcome you to reality adult entertainment! Casey is down to earth, very friendly and my new favorite actress. Check out her website and you will be hooked too.

http://www.myspace.com/caseyparkerxxx

Make-Your-Own “McLovin Fake ID”

If you watched Superbad you probably want your own Hawaii fake McLovin ID. Well, here is your chance to make that dream come true. All you need to do is click on the mini-McLovin ID for the larger version and after that, copy the image, add it to your image program, slap your own photo in there, laminate that bad boy and enjoy…

http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/article/make_your_own_superbad_mclovin_id

Beer Belt

Hold a six-pack without your hands! This fully-adjustable beer belt allows for hands-free convenience while keeping your precious beer cans or bottles at no further than an arm’s length.

http://www.baronbob.com/beerbelt.htm

Tune in to COED tomorrow for more holiday gifts later this week!