Nothing makes for a relaxing vacation like toking on some dank sh*t. But if your plans involve flying, getting your stash from home to your destination involves breaking quite a few laws. So to keep you from having to track down a dealer when you’re from out of town–never a good plan–we’ve laid out exactly how to sneak a bit on board without the Department of Homeland security shoving a German shepherd up your a**. But remember, if you still get caught, we’ve never met…

Find out how to fly with pot after the break!

1. Bigger the bag the bigger the bust: Don’t be greedy–any more than a gram or two, and you’re asking for it.

2. Wrap it up: Seal the gram in a tightly wrapped ball of saran wrap, then insert the nugs into a very small ziplock bag. (If your dealer doesn’t use these, many head shops and jewelry shops will have them. They are also often included with new electronics to hold batteries or small screws.) Before you seal the bag, press the saran ball and bag with a heavy book to minimize the bulkiness. And remember, ONLY CARRY ONE BAG–multiple bags is considered “intent to distribute,” a much bigger penalty, if you get caught.

3. The fifth pocket: Insert the sealed nugget into your fifth pocket of a pair of jeans, which never gets searched. If you’ve done step 2 correctly, it shouldn’t feel any different on the outside than four quarters (25 cent pieces–not an ounce). As an added precaution, put something small, like a piece of gum or candy, on top of your stash, so if you can  pull something out of that pocket if asked–but that probably won’t happen.

4. No Metal: Remove all metal from your body, period–belt, jewelry, phone, iPod, anything. Stow all your personal items in your carry-on before hand, so you have nothing to worry about going through the metal detector. Remember, they’re looking for terrorists, not pot smokers with a small personal stash.

5. Ready, Move: Once situated on the plane, go to the lavatory and move the bag from your fifth pocket to the inside of your shoe. The smell of your feet/socks will disguise any lingering odor. If you have packed your bag well, this is not an essential step. But good pot smells no matter how well it’s packed. To help further mask the weed scent, wear two day old socks for extra stink. Or you can opt for a stout fragrance like patucculi. But that’s also a good way to let everyone know you’re damn hippy. Happy flying!