Having trouble falling asleep in the noisy dorms? Neighbors blasting the TV or stereo? Are your suite mates keeping you awake with loud moans and groans of sexual ecstasy?

Like it or not, students are turning to over-the-counter sleeping aides to escape the many late night dorm distractions. College kids are popping Tylenol PM like they are Tic-Tacs and downing death-red NyQuil like it’s cherry soda.

But as you might have guessed, it’s easy to overdo it. Taking the right number of NyQuil shots can mean the difference between a great night sleep and a NyQuil induced comma that will leave you sleeping through an entire week of classes.

While none of this is recommended by any professional anywhere, let’s be honest - professionals don’t have roommates, or finals. And they probably have a doctor friend who’s giving them something way more effective than over-the-counter cough syrup. So here’s a quick guide to taking Nyquil to get some shut-eye without F-ing up everything else.

One NyQuil Shooter: will take the edge off and get you ready for some refreshing shuteye.

Two NyQuil Shooters: should be more than enough to have you snoring faster than you can tell your roommate, “Steve, turn off that f**king Bon Jovi!”

Three NyQuil Shooters: pushing the limits, expect to wake up the next morning in a lethargic foggy/daze.

Four or more NyQuil Shooters: you will end up sleeping through your alarm clock, your wake up call, your classes, and maybe the remainder of the semester!

Unfortunately taking one too many shots of NyQuil is not going to be a valid excuse for missing any professor’s class or mid-term exam. Use NyQuil shooters and Tylenol PM responsibly because they are strong enough to knock a full-grown elephant to the ground. Do not underestimate the power of the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so you can rest medicine!

Oh PS, in no way do we endorse taking these drugs for any other reason for what that were intended for. (Cough, cough…)