There’s no question in my mind that women can do everything men can do, and probably better, most of the time. But once a woman becomes a mom, there are a few things she should avoid. At the top of that list, just after “stripper,” is riding dirt bikes – because when they do, it goes horribly, hilariously wrong. And this time, there’s a bonus surprise mishap, which I’m sure you’ll enjoy.

According to the description of this video, this guy’s neighbor called the cops on him for shooting off fireworks behind his house. So to get back at him, he does what any normal person would do, and hides in his trash can, and scares the ever-living sh*t out of him. Luckily, the guy had the forethought to catch the whole thing on tape.

Today, the world watched as Michael Jackson was laid to rest. There were laughs and tears and a whole lot of singing. And just as we expected, the memorial climaxed with a rendition of “We Are the World”. So, in our own half-assed attempt to get in on the MJ funeral craziness, we present to you “We Are the World,” Japan style! Way better than the original…

I’m not exactly sure what it is about humans that makes us want to do stupid stunts just for the hell of it. But whatever it is, I’m sure as hell happy it exists. Take this girl  for instance – she wants to jump across this dry creek. She goes for it… and fails, big time. Then cries when she lands on her head. Hooray for humans!

This beautifully amazing clip is from Russia’s version of “America’s Got Talent” called, simply, “Talent.” And like all these shows, it starts out with hilariously untalented people with too much confidence making complete asses of themselves. But where the Russian version really excels is with insanely dangerous stunts, like the old “shoot the arrow off the head” number these silly bastards try – and FAIL.

This one is a bit of an oldie, but we don’t think it got nearly enough attention when it came out. This is an ingenious mashup of Anderson Cooper’s coverage of “cute bear” videos and, well, some bears. We’ll let you decide whether or not they’re cute. But something tells us you’ll just be laughing to hard to notice.

Fireworks have to be the best part about the Fourth of July. There’s just something about loading up on M-80s and bottle rockets that makes you feel like a kid again. Unfortunately for these poor bastards, the whole explosives thing can go so incredibly wrong, it’ll make you think twice before launching that Roman candle out of your ass, this year.

WARNING: Lots of NSFW Language

1. Nut-shot Fail

2. Burn Down the Farm

3. Straight to the Face

4. Pain Comes Quickly

5. WWE’s Jeff Hardy Gets It Bad

6. Homemade Fireworks Fail

7. Fireworks Factory Explosion

8. Roman Candle to the Face

9. Lucky? No Lucky? No Lucky!

10. Fireworks Out the Ass

11. Not Far Enough

12. Epic Fireworks Fail

13. Brutal M-80 Accident (Beware)

14. Fail to the Face

The holiday weekend is almost here, so I’m guessing most of you have already checked out, for the most part, from whatever job you work at and are steadily daydreaming about BBQ and fireworks. So let me add another dream – naked Bar Refaeli rolling around in a bed. You’re welcome.

Alright, this very well may be fake – but I don’t think it is. At least not yet. The video is from an unmanned sewer camera. And the thing in the video is… I have no f**king clue, but it scares the sh*t out of me. Some people claim it’s just plant roots that are very reactive to light, others say it’s just “a sack of sewer worms”. OK, but since when have either of those things existed? I’m not saying it couldn’t be one of those things – I’m saying there’s just as good a chance they’re alien breeding pods that will one day break open and devour us all.

UPDATE: Thanks to COED reader, Justin, we now know that this actually is a “sack of sewer worms,” which I so foolishly disregarded earlier. So, thanks, Justin for clearing that up. I am sure we will all sleep more soundly tonight because of it.

So, it turns out that before Cheers and long before Curb Your Enthusiasm, comedian and actor, Ted Danson was a complete and total creeper. And if you don’t believe me, just take a gander at this quick little clip of Mr. Danson reading from his book of… um, “soft and romantic” pickup lines? I guess you could call it that, if you consider “Honest, I’ll pull out in time” a pickup line.