2008 was a year of great accomplishment for many professional athletes (MIchael Phelps and Nastia Liukin to name a few). For others it was a year of total FAIL! Sure, many failed on the field, but it was their idiotic actions in the off time that we will remember for years and years to come. From steroids and pot to the unfortunate DUI, let us remember: The Year in Sports: Substance Abuse Edition.
The 2008 regular season has come to an end, but fear not fantasy football fans, we’ve got ya covered! Check out the following collection of 12 NFL Fantasy File videos featuring stars pulling off digitally enhanced (yet still incredible) on-the-field tricks. It should get you pumped up for next years draft.
As a side note…Mason Crosby’s bell tower stunt will seem a little more realistic after you watch his 69 year field goal attempt yesterday that was short by mere feet.
Laurence Maroney | RB for the New England Patriots
Braylon Edwards | WR for the Cleveland Browns
Chris Simms | QB for the Tennessee Titans
Mike Nugent | Kicker for the Jets
Neil Rackers | Kicker for the Arizona Cardinals
Chris Chambers | WR for the San Diego Chargers
Jason Campbell | QB for the Washington Redskins
Andre Johnson | Wide Receiver for the Houston Texans
Marques Colston | WR for the New Orleans Saints
Mason Crosby | Kicker for the Green Bay Packers
Marc Bulger | QB for the St. Louis Rams
Chris Cooley | TE for the Washington Redskins
Following in the wake of the Yankees’ signing of star first baseman Mark Teixeira is the deluge of tears flowing from the eyes of other team officials around the league. Brewers owner Mark Attanasio complained that he spent $220M for his entire organization, while the Yankees just spent $423.5M on three free agents this month.
But am I missing something here? Yes, they committed themselves to pay out $423.5M in future salaries, but that is over an eight-year span. Next year’s payroll only assumes $62M of that money ($23M + $22.5M + $16.5M), which is still $26.5M less than the $88.5M that came off the books this offseason. So why was nobody whining when last year’s Yanks were watching the playoffs on TV with a much higher payroll?
Last I checked, the entire league didn’t resemble a nursery room full of whining babies when the Chicago Cubs signed their name on the dotted lines of nearly $300M in future salaries in the winter of 2006 after finishing with a disgusting 66-96 record. So why all the fuss now over another off-season spending spree?
Because of the state of the current economy? No.
Then why? Oh yea, because we are talking about the New York Yankees - the 26-time champion New York Yankees who have kept franchises like the Florida Marlins and Tampa Bay Rays afloat since the dawn of the luxury tax. Teams like the envious Brewers and Marlins need to stop talking about a salary cap and start putting the revenue and profit margin they generate back on the field instead of in their pockets for the fans to enjoy - the same way the Yankees have been doing it for decades.
(Image: NYTimes.com)
Sundown yesterday started the Jewish celebration that is often mispronounced by the majority of society. It is called, “Hanukkah.” During the holiday season all we Jewish people hear about is CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! The only way we know that it’s Hanukkah is by a patronizing aside given at the end of a newscast that says:
“That’s our Channel 4 news for tonight. And for our little Jewish friends…..Happy Chanukah…..or Hanukah…or……….Hanukey………or whatever the f*ck you call it………. all we know is that you killed little baby Jesus……….go light your damn candles you sons-of-bitches!”
Even NBA stars such as Shazam star Shaquille O’neal are now fulfilling contractual obligations to wish fans a Happy Hanukkah, despite their complete lack of knowledge that it’s a holiday:
Harmon Leon is the author of The American Dream. Buy that sh*t, bitches!
Following a disappointing season that saw the Yankees fail to reach the postseason for the first time since 1993, amidst the festivities of the final season in beloved Yankee Stadium, they realize that they must make a strong statement this off-season. There is one main objective for revamping this underachieving roster: Add young superior talent.
They have colossal holes in four main areas: the starting rotation, no true first baseman, ancient options in left field and absolutely nothing in center field. With roughly $90M coming off the payroll, now is the time to act.
The first priority was the shortcomings of the pitching staff. The Yanks managed to win 89 games last season despite heavy workloads from Darrell Rasner, Sidney Ponson, Dan Giese, and other hilarious options. This is unacceptable. Brian Cashman and his cronies ponied up to pay a combined $43.5M per year on the young power arms of C.C. Sabathia and A.J. Burnett. Once Andy Pettitte decides to return as an anchor at the fifth starter slot at a discounted price, the rotation will be set.
However, Cashman has been susceptible in the past with his questionable decision making regarding position players. Think of the off-season after the 2004 season - Yanks were coming off the collapse to the Red Sox and instead of upgrading their center field position with Carlos Beltran, they decided to blow their wad on Randy Johnson and Carl Pavano. I think we all know how those two moves worked out and now they are twiddling their thumbs with Brett Gardner in center field.
The Yanks upgraded by sending little used utility man Wilson Betemit to the White Sox for Nick Swisher to play first base and outfield, and have entertained the notion of trading Melky Cabrera to the Brewers for center fielder Mike Cameron.
But why bring in another 36 year-old washed-up outfielder at $10M per year when you already have two others, Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui (each make roughly $13M), fighting for playing time? Wouldn’t they be better off shelling out the $22M to Mark Teixeira and moving Nick Swisher into center field?
Teixeira is a 28 year-old gold glove first baseman. Have the Yanks had a real first basemen who can play solid defense and hit for power and average since Tino Martinez in 2001? No.
Cashman needs to realize that now is the time to strike, and strike effectively and intelligently. Grab Teixeira, who will provide stability at the first base position for the first decade of the new Stadium. He will crush the ball to the new short porch in right and is a solid player with a bull work ethic in the weight room. Let Manny Ramirez go play in LA. Then, save the $26M that will be shed off the payroll next summer (from Damon and Matsui’s corpse) and invest it in another young stud in the outfield, namely Matt Holliday.
The solution is simple - sign the high quality players while they are entering their prime, not after they just completed it. Cashman took the first step by upgrading the pitching staff while lowering the average age. Now its time to do the same for the position players.
(Image: Gothamist)
First comes Christmas, then New Year’s Eve - then college F’ing football! Now we think, like any good sports fan, that the BCS championship system is a load of crap. But it’s all we’ve got, so we’ll take it. Fortunately, the one thing not lacking in the BCS this year is smoking hot cheerleaders! We’ve compiled galleries of cheerleaders from every school playing a BCS bowl game and put them head to head. And guess who wins every single match-up…You!
University of Southern California Trojans Vs Penn State University Nittany Lions
Rose Bowl Stadium Pasadena, California | Thursday January 1st, 2009
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Virginia Tech Hokies vs Cincinnati Bearcats
Dolphin Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida | Thursday January 1st, 2009
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Alabama Crimson Tide vs University of Utah Utes
Louisiana Superdome in New Orleans, Louisiana | Friday, January 2nd, 2009
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University of Texas Longhorns vs The Ohio State University Buckeyes
University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona | Monday, January 5th, 2009
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University of Florida Gators vs University of Oklahoma Sooners
Dolphin Stadium Miami Gardens, Florida | Thursday January 8th, 2009
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Sports Illustrated has announced their 2008 college football All-American teams. And although Oklahoma’s quarterback Sam Bradford won himself a prestigious bit of hardware on Saturday (the Heisman Trophy) he had to play second fiddle to Texas quarterback Colt McCoy who was named the first team All-American quarterback for 2008.
Also named to the first team was McCoy’s Texas Tech nemesis Michael Crabtree, who was one of five sophomores named to the first team. Florida’s golden boy Tim Tebow, who will play for the national championship in January was named to the third team.
When you’re done checking out the full list of 2008 All-Americans and poke them on Facebook!
NEWS FLASH: If you cheat on you’re girl and she finds out, beware! Nothing on earth is more terrifying than a woman’s wrath. And if these seven stories prove anything, it’s that a woman - any woman - with spite in her heart is capable of anything. So let these nauseating tales serve as a warning to any man that’s ever wronged his woman in any way: She will get you back, and when she does, keep your penis as from from her as possible.
Check out The Dog Ate My Penis and 6 Other Terrifying Vengeful Castrations after the break! Read More »
College football bowl season is finally here!
As we all know by now the Florida Gators will take on Oklahoma in the FedEx BCS National Championship Game. Barring a catastrophic off the field injury to Tim Tebow, Florida is going to eat Oklahoma alive. A more even match-up would have been the Gators vs USC but in the current BCS era we have to take what they give us and live with it.
The 2008-09 bowl season will start in Albuquerque on December 20th and end in Miami on January 8th.
You might remember when Stephen Curry-mania hit it’s peak last March as Davidson’s point guard single-handedly led 10th seed Davidson to the Elite-8. Well, once again Stephen Curry has captivated America.
During last night’s Jimmy V Classic Curry had a second half performance for the ages dropped 13 straight points on West Virginia in the final five minutes, including a go-ahead, game clinching NBA length foot three-pointer with only 39.6 seconds left to play.
Madison Square Garden was at full capacity and as SI said this morning, “Stephen Curry drew the biggest college hoops crowd at MSG this year. The crowd was there to see him. Bigger games with bigger schools (Duke and North Carolina) had been played at MSG already this season, and people hadn’t turned out like this.”
Why don’t you join in the madness and check out 10 Stephen Curry Facts after the jump so you can drop some Curry trivia on your friends. Read More »
If you’re a fan of crazy bastards riding violent beasts with nothing but leather and a giant pair of balls between life and death, then strap on your spurs and saddle-up for the 50th Wrangler National Finals Rodeo, taking place in Las Vegas until Dec. 13th. The NFR, known as the “Super Bowl of rodeos,” features the top 15 competitors from rodeo’s seven events, including bronco and bull riding, calf roping, steer wrestling and barrel racing. So to honor these modern-day gladiators, we’ve put together the hottest cowgirls from around the net. Giddy-up!
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Anyone who has ever seen ESPN’s “SportsCenter” knows that anchor Stuart Scott has a weird looking left eye. Like Tina Fey’s face scar, it’s a deformity that is often questioned but never answered. (OK, Tina answered, finally.)
So was Stuart born with a lazy eye? Does Stuart have a glass eye ball? Did he get popped in the face by Sterling Sharpe? All the rumors are laid to rest after the jump! Read More »
